"It's none of my business what people think of or say about me." Anthony Hopkins.
I've been thinking of this statement in recent weeks. We give a lot of energy to fretting about what others think of us or say 'behind out backs.' We all want to be liked, admired, respected and to believe that people think and speak well of us. Rather than spending our energy in this way, let's begin to pray, each day, that we may BE what we hope people see.
Thinking through the list of descriptive words in the 5th chapter of the book of Galatians, describing the fruit of the Spirit, these are the traits that we, as believers in Jesus Christ, desire to be evident in our lives, I realize that this list will never be attributed to me by spending my time desperately wanting others to see them. My focus is far better spent in cultivating these character traits by living, today, for an audience of One.
As I open God's Word each day, inviting the Holy Spirit to shine his discerning spotlight into my heart, revealing my thoughts, intentions and my need of him, he will create, day by day, a landscape in my life that showcases the traits that I hope people see in my daily encounters.
Don't waste precious and limited energy worrying about what others think of you or what they are saying. Focus on the One who created you for his purpose and is ready to share his amazing grace, through you, as you wait before him in faith and walk in humble confidence knowing he is at work.
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Friday
Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Romans 2:15
Greetings, girlfriends! We attended my grandmothers' funeral this week (she was 101!) My middle son got a great new job on the same day she passed. I was reminded, again, of this blog I had written back in 2010. I thought it would be appropriate to re-post it now. -
I found out some very sad news, late last week. A former boss of mine, and his wife, both attorneys for the law firm where I previously worked, were vacationing together, in Italy, when his wife became very ill. She was taken to the hospital where, several hours later, the doctors appeared in the waiting room, to tell her husband she had an aneurism and there was nothing they could do...they had lost her. She was 51 years young, beautiful, smart, full of life and a devoted wife and mother. I can't even imagine the shock, pain and lonliness her husband must have felt. One of my closest friends has worked for them for 10 years and was devastated, of course. My heart cried out to God, along with everyone else's, for comfort and meaning in such a seemingly cruel act of fate.
Right on the heels of this news, I received a call from another close friend of mine, who lives in the same town, telling me of her proposal from her boyfriend! :-)It was contagious to share in her joy and excitement, as he had made it very special, including a scavenger hunt and had done a great deal of preparation!
I was reminded of the "big" events of life and how they often play out. There is the excitement of a new life coming into the world and the sadness of parting with our loved ones in death. There is the joy and happiness of a wedding, as a couple begin their lives together, with bright hope and plans for their future, while nearby, there is the devastation of a family ripped apart by divorce and the pain and suffering that goes with their dreams of forever.
I recall when my dad suddenly passed away, almost 8 years ago, and how I was shocked at how the world could go on, laughing and playing, as though my world had not just been demolished! It seemed cruel and unfair, at the time, for others to be happy and enjoying themselves. Of course, this was the viewpoint of a grieving daughter. I know many of you have experienced what I'm talking about in some scenario in your life.
The Bible tells us to be happy with those who are happy and to cry with those who cry. In this we can see that our Father knows the hurts and the happiness that are all a part of our journey from life to death and into eternity. The happy occasions we so enjoy, new babies, weddings, holidays, graduations and so on are a glimpse of heaven where all will be good and right. The terrible ache for the parent who has lost a child or the widow who has been left alone to grieve her longtime companion, the ongoing pain of divorce and brokenness of a family, the loss of a job, the terminal illness,...In it all, God calls us to be involved, as Christians who are here to express his love and goodness, to be the light of God's love into the hearts of their fellow man.
Who do you know, today, who is rejoicing in a happy place? Be happy with them. Let them know it. Sometimes, when a friend, co-worker or, even a family member, is blessed financially, relationally, or in some other way while we are in a hurting place, we find it hard to be happy with them, don't we? And yet, we miss out on SO much when we fail to share in the happiness of others!
Do you know someone who is hurting? Someone battling with a difficult or dissolving marriage, a handicapped child, the one who faces chemotherapy, not knowing if they will survive, the loss of a job or financial ruin...we could go on. Cry with them. Pray for them. Sometimes that is all we can do. Allow your heart to love, to care, to reach out beyond your own circumstances whether they are good or bad and find the truth in Jesus' words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
Still Climbing,
Cher
I found out some very sad news, late last week. A former boss of mine, and his wife, both attorneys for the law firm where I previously worked, were vacationing together, in Italy, when his wife became very ill. She was taken to the hospital where, several hours later, the doctors appeared in the waiting room, to tell her husband she had an aneurism and there was nothing they could do...they had lost her. She was 51 years young, beautiful, smart, full of life and a devoted wife and mother. I can't even imagine the shock, pain and lonliness her husband must have felt. One of my closest friends has worked for them for 10 years and was devastated, of course. My heart cried out to God, along with everyone else's, for comfort and meaning in such a seemingly cruel act of fate.
Right on the heels of this news, I received a call from another close friend of mine, who lives in the same town, telling me of her proposal from her boyfriend! :-)It was contagious to share in her joy and excitement, as he had made it very special, including a scavenger hunt and had done a great deal of preparation!
I was reminded of the "big" events of life and how they often play out. There is the excitement of a new life coming into the world and the sadness of parting with our loved ones in death. There is the joy and happiness of a wedding, as a couple begin their lives together, with bright hope and plans for their future, while nearby, there is the devastation of a family ripped apart by divorce and the pain and suffering that goes with their dreams of forever.
I recall when my dad suddenly passed away, almost 8 years ago, and how I was shocked at how the world could go on, laughing and playing, as though my world had not just been demolished! It seemed cruel and unfair, at the time, for others to be happy and enjoying themselves. Of course, this was the viewpoint of a grieving daughter. I know many of you have experienced what I'm talking about in some scenario in your life.
The Bible tells us to be happy with those who are happy and to cry with those who cry. In this we can see that our Father knows the hurts and the happiness that are all a part of our journey from life to death and into eternity. The happy occasions we so enjoy, new babies, weddings, holidays, graduations and so on are a glimpse of heaven where all will be good and right. The terrible ache for the parent who has lost a child or the widow who has been left alone to grieve her longtime companion, the ongoing pain of divorce and brokenness of a family, the loss of a job, the terminal illness,...In it all, God calls us to be involved, as Christians who are here to express his love and goodness, to be the light of God's love into the hearts of their fellow man.
Who do you know, today, who is rejoicing in a happy place? Be happy with them. Let them know it. Sometimes, when a friend, co-worker or, even a family member, is blessed financially, relationally, or in some other way while we are in a hurting place, we find it hard to be happy with them, don't we? And yet, we miss out on SO much when we fail to share in the happiness of others!
Do you know someone who is hurting? Someone battling with a difficult or dissolving marriage, a handicapped child, the one who faces chemotherapy, not knowing if they will survive, the loss of a job or financial ruin...we could go on. Cry with them. Pray for them. Sometimes that is all we can do. Allow your heart to love, to care, to reach out beyond your own circumstances whether they are good or bad and find the truth in Jesus' words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
Still Climbing,
Cher
Saturday
Though he slay me yet I will trust him. Job 13:15
Though the fig tree shall not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls YET I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17
As I am struggling through a stormy situation, in a particular area of my life, I am reminded of a time when I experienced what, for me, felt like a Category 5. I lost everything that mattered to me and truly didn't know how to survive, emotionally or spiritually. I was divorced 2.5 years earlier and my two younger children, who were now 13 and 15, were battling the reality of going between homes, ours a simple Mennonite home, in the country, with a lot of love and the security of a strong community and, their dad's, a home in Suburbia where they would go to movies, listen to music, wear the latest teen fashion from the mall, swim in the back yard pool of the executive home where their dad and new step-mom lived, have free access to the internet and TV in their rooms and even get to take trips out of the country on holidays. They would come back to me and our quiet, plain life and it would be obvious that they wanted the life their dad could offer them but didn't want to hurt me. The elder was also "finished" with school and working full time, since Mennonite children only go through 8th grade and then start to work in a trade, most often with their dad or a relative. As you can imagine, given the option, at these ages, the inevitable happened, when my youngest called from a visit at his dad's, and said, "Mom, I'm going to stay here and live with Dad. He said it's going to be like "name," an amusement park in the city, at that time. One week after his move, my dad, who was my solid rock of support, died suddenly from Acute Leukemia. I walked through the funeral in a fog of grief and sadness that I thought I could not recover from. My middle son tried to stay with me, as he didn't want to leave me, after he saw the pain his brother's move caused, followed by the loss of his Papa and yet, it was so clear he was not going to join the Mennonite church. At 15, he wanted to go to high school and experience all the things he was "missing." I knew he could not and would not stay, with this mindset, and only an 8th grade education, which works very well if your life is embedded in the Mennonite community, but is most often disastrous in the "real world," so through a series of discussions about his intentions, I felt I had no choice but to release him to make the move, as well, knowing the deep separation this would bring, due to the vast differences in lifestyle (to use an extreme example but not too far from the truth, think of moving from a scene of Little House on the Prairie to Hollywood). It was a life altering decision for us, as a family, and would unleash a time I refer to, in my soon to be published book, Don't Waste Your Hurricane: Exodus From an Amish-flavored Life; Moving From Paralyzing Pain Into Powerful Purpose, as 'The beginning of sorrows.'
The Scripture says, in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." I do believe this verse is applicable in any situation as we lean into God's mercy and grace, and yet, we are imperfect humans beings and I struggled with feeling all of those things; crushed, in despair, forsaken and destroyed. The thing I most feared had come upon me and it was a severe blow.
God in his grace and kindness came to me, at pivotal points, and still does, 9 years down this rocky path marked by grace, and gave me the verses from Malachi. Was my faith in him real? Was I playing Christian or was I really a woman of faith? Do any of us know how to walk "successfully" through devastation until we are faced with it and must choose, continually, to walk by faith and even with "no herd in the stalls," rejoice in the God of our salvation, believing he will work ALL things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Romans 8:28.
Many, if not all of us, experience those "Job" happenings, in our lives, at some point. It comes in various, unwelcome forms through terminal illness, the unfathomable death of a child, a devastating divorce, financial crisis, the experience of abuse or neglect... that hurl us into a place where we choose to lean into Jesus or move away from believing God has our good in mind. For most, we fluctuate between the two and it takes his loving reminders that he sees us and knows where we are, even in hurricane conditions, and that he will use these broken places in us to reveal himself. As our faith is tested, it produces perseverance, and as we allow perseverance to finish it's work, we will become mature and complete, lacking nothing.
Still Climbing,
Cher
As I am struggling through a stormy situation, in a particular area of my life, I am reminded of a time when I experienced what, for me, felt like a Category 5. I lost everything that mattered to me and truly didn't know how to survive, emotionally or spiritually. I was divorced 2.5 years earlier and my two younger children, who were now 13 and 15, were battling the reality of going between homes, ours a simple Mennonite home, in the country, with a lot of love and the security of a strong community and, their dad's, a home in Suburbia where they would go to movies, listen to music, wear the latest teen fashion from the mall, swim in the back yard pool of the executive home where their dad and new step-mom lived, have free access to the internet and TV in their rooms and even get to take trips out of the country on holidays. They would come back to me and our quiet, plain life and it would be obvious that they wanted the life their dad could offer them but didn't want to hurt me. The elder was also "finished" with school and working full time, since Mennonite children only go through 8th grade and then start to work in a trade, most often with their dad or a relative. As you can imagine, given the option, at these ages, the inevitable happened, when my youngest called from a visit at his dad's, and said, "Mom, I'm going to stay here and live with Dad. He said it's going to be like "name," an amusement park in the city, at that time. One week after his move, my dad, who was my solid rock of support, died suddenly from Acute Leukemia. I walked through the funeral in a fog of grief and sadness that I thought I could not recover from. My middle son tried to stay with me, as he didn't want to leave me, after he saw the pain his brother's move caused, followed by the loss of his Papa and yet, it was so clear he was not going to join the Mennonite church. At 15, he wanted to go to high school and experience all the things he was "missing." I knew he could not and would not stay, with this mindset, and only an 8th grade education, which works very well if your life is embedded in the Mennonite community, but is most often disastrous in the "real world," so through a series of discussions about his intentions, I felt I had no choice but to release him to make the move, as well, knowing the deep separation this would bring, due to the vast differences in lifestyle (to use an extreme example but not too far from the truth, think of moving from a scene of Little House on the Prairie to Hollywood). It was a life altering decision for us, as a family, and would unleash a time I refer to, in my soon to be published book, Don't Waste Your Hurricane: Exodus From an Amish-flavored Life; Moving From Paralyzing Pain Into Powerful Purpose, as 'The beginning of sorrows.'
The Scripture says, in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." I do believe this verse is applicable in any situation as we lean into God's mercy and grace, and yet, we are imperfect humans beings and I struggled with feeling all of those things; crushed, in despair, forsaken and destroyed. The thing I most feared had come upon me and it was a severe blow.
God in his grace and kindness came to me, at pivotal points, and still does, 9 years down this rocky path marked by grace, and gave me the verses from Malachi. Was my faith in him real? Was I playing Christian or was I really a woman of faith? Do any of us know how to walk "successfully" through devastation until we are faced with it and must choose, continually, to walk by faith and even with "no herd in the stalls," rejoice in the God of our salvation, believing he will work ALL things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Romans 8:28.
Many, if not all of us, experience those "Job" happenings, in our lives, at some point. It comes in various, unwelcome forms through terminal illness, the unfathomable death of a child, a devastating divorce, financial crisis, the experience of abuse or neglect... that hurl us into a place where we choose to lean into Jesus or move away from believing God has our good in mind. For most, we fluctuate between the two and it takes his loving reminders that he sees us and knows where we are, even in hurricane conditions, and that he will use these broken places in us to reveal himself. As our faith is tested, it produces perseverance, and as we allow perseverance to finish it's work, we will become mature and complete, lacking nothing.
Still Climbing,
Cher
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