On Memorial Day weekend of this year my husband broke two bones - one in his femur and another in his tibula as he was just walking down a hill, taking pictures. He slipped in his flip-flops and tried to catch himself and heard the POP! 3 months later, following surgery and the placement of some permanent hardware in his leg, followed by a caste and a then a boot, he has a visible scar that he will likely carry for the remainder of his life. He also has a reminder whenever he irritates the leg with overexertion as it swells for several hours until he adequately rests it. The Dr. says this may continue for up to a year.
About 1 1/2 years ago, I hyper extended my right arm doing karate punches - you aren't supposed to extend your arm all the way to a straight arm when throwing your punches....:-/ Even though it's been quite a while since the injury took place, I still feel the scar or effects every day. When I carry a heavy purse, do bicep curls, get penned in next to my husband during cuddle time...I am reminded of the "scar" that remains. I'm uncertain how long this will continue or if it's something I'll have to just live with from now on. I know I'm aware of the scarred area even though no one would know it by looking at my arm.
When we have been wounded emotionally, there is often an invisible scar that remains even though we may have tried to reconcile a devestating event, made amends or granted forgiveness in situations where there has been a need.
When a wound is newly covered by a scar, it can easily be re-opened, creating pain afresh, fear, anxiety, anger and mistrust in the present. This is particularly true if the incident(s) happened with someone with whom you are still sharing some type of relationship. As time passes, and if no subsequent wounds are inflicted in the same area, the scar gets a little hardier and is not so easily removed to expose the wound but there are some scars that run deep and triggers that can bring about that wounded feeling or fear again. It can be a place, a phrase, an angry look or tone, almost anything, really. I know I have several triggers that remind me of painful times and it's difficult to overcome. When this happens, I struggle with fear and what I call mental gymnastics, anxious that I may have to face yet more heartache and pain. I pray for healing in these areas and for the grace to trust that God has my life in his hands and nothing can hurt me without first passing through him. At times I fare better than others. If I get overly tired or am under extra stress at work or in some other area, the triggers more readily bring my emotions to the surface. This is one reason why a regular time of disciplined prayer and reading my Bible, a mostly clean diet, exercise, adequate sleep and a way to express myself, often in writing, speaking or talking with a close friend, is vital to my emotional "fit-ness."
Remember, as you go about interacting with others, that many who strike out and wound are themselves wounded and many scars are not readily visible but with a little closer examination and a prayer to be a force for good in our sphere of influence, we can see with spiritual eyes and seek to participate in the healing process of the scars that we or others may be carrying.
Pray for me as I pray for you that our scars may be gently covered by the nail scarred hands of our Savior.
Still Climbing,
Cher
No comments:
Post a Comment