"Being dead, he still speaks." Hebrews 11:4
This was the verse read at my dad's funeral 8 years ago and, every time I think of it, I marvel at how appropo it was in it's application to who he was and the influence he carried...and still does, in the hearts of those who knew him.
Joe Barnes was a man of influence.
Like many girls, I adored my dad and, in my eyes, he was a giant of a man. Oh, he had faults (a few :) but they seemed to pale in the light of his unwavering strengths. It has been said, within our family, that Dad didn't go around barking out commands but, when he spoke, on a serious note, you listened. It seemed as though his directions were edicts not to be ignored or taken lightly, especially on the larger matters of life and moral/ethical decisions. I didn't often live up to my dad's expectations in my choices as a teenager and young adult but I wanted to. And when I failed to do so, I didn't want him to know it! So different from much of what we see today. I would never have smoked or cussed in front of my father or told him of my "shameful" deeds, not because I feared punishment but because I feared disappointing him. I loved and respected my dad and It felt like a knife to my heart knowing I let him down. Much like him in his childhood, though, I was prone to mischief and impulsive misbehaving.
Dad had a great sense of humor, a constant twinkle of mischief in his pale blue eyes and he could fix anything and did as soon as it needed it. I was always amazed at his patience with a Do it Yourself manual and the tenacity to work at something until he had it figured out and done! He had stick-to-it-iveness! I did NOT inherit that trait. lol!
As hard as it may be to believe, I never heard my dad raise his voice in all of the years I knew him. I heard him get stern a very few times but rarely with me. My brother tells of one time when he raised him up off his feet against the refrigerator, as a young man, and didn't say a word, in response to him mouthing off. I can't imagine Dad doing that but I know my brother says he deserved it and understood exactly what was "being said." Very different from the response that it would likely bring today, no doubt!
Having been a surprise to his parents late in life, the youngest of 8, he had more personality and energy for mischief than a whole pack of boys and tired, older parents who didn't do a whole lot about it. There were many tales of provoking his cousin, the Sheriff, in the small town in Alabama where he was raised, to chase after him, by racing past him in his "cut-down" car, cutting school and playing endless pranks on teachers and classmates.
I remember, even as a child, my dad driving very fast in his Boss Haus - the 69 Mach I Mustang he loved. He and my mom both had the "need for speed" and rode Harley's, too. I inherited that love for fast cars and Harley's! Dad was pulled over and lectured once when my brother and I were sleeping in the back seat and he was clocked going 100 mph on a curvy road on his way from Houston to Alabama for a trip home. He, like me, was always respectful when "caught" and felt bad that his impulsive behavior had caused a problem...but he continued in the same vein until years later. After my brother and I were grown and gone, he and my mom ran into an old school mate, who refused to believe my dad was a Safety Director for a trucking company. He would later become VP of Safety. The school mate laughed himself silly at the thought. Dad did wear a helmet later in life when riding the Harley and his driving slowed down after dealing with the results of reckless driving in his job.
Dad didn't attend church and, consequently we, as a family, didn't either but, somehow, I knew and perceived in him that he was a believer. He didn't "talk it up" often but I saw him tear up at old gospel hymns and he always seemed to have a love and respect for the Lord. He was a regular attender the last 6 months of his life, though he had no idea he was going to die of acute Leukemia.
Even though Dad still liked to play pranks, at work, and have a good time, he was also known for his character. I saw many instances where he went out of his way to be honest in his dealings and to right any wrongs he realized he had done. I remember once he told me that, as a very young man on his first job driving a bread truck, he had sold some bread as fresh that was "day old" and pocketed the money for a short period of time. It had bothered him all the years since and he had tried in vain to look for the company to repay what he believed he owed. When he found out the company was no longer in business, he rid himself of the money for what he believed was a good cause. This was just one example of many where I saw his character and humility.
Dad was also generous. My parents both let me know, by example, that to leave a tip less than 15-20% of the bill, was a "sorry" thing to do. They always said if they couldn't afford to tip well, they couldn't afford to eat out. I have that very same mentality, today. I guess that one stuck! lol! I remember he and Mom turning around to go back to a restaurant they had been to earlier to give the waitress a $100 tip (my parents weren't rich by any means) because they felt bad for her as she was going through a tough time. You also didn't want to litter around my dad as he categorized that as "sorry" and "lazy" too and he had a strong aversion to cussing. He had little respect for people who cussed, frequently, or used the GD or F-bomb and said they needed to increase their vocabulary. I remember him telling a neighbor that he expected him to control his language around my mother and me. He did have some strong opinions on certain issues....and I'm afraid THAT he did pass on, as well! Neither my brother nor I cuss....not that we don't have other vices! lol
I have many fond memories of my dad - one was when he would call me out to his car to listen to a sentimental country song he had heard on the radio or purchased. One was Butterfly Kisses about a daddy and his little girl. We just sat side by side in the car listening and he'd look over with a little smile playing around his lips and tear-brimmed eyes. I loved him so much for that soft spot he had! I also remember him waking me up in the wee hours of the morning, back when he drove a truck, asking if I was "hungry." Of course I said "yes!" and got up to eat a sandwich with him. :)
I also remember when he caught me smoking - I was 16, as I recall, and had taken my mom's car to the store. I smoked and threw the butt out the windown but it came back in the back window and burned a hole in the seat. :-0 My dad made me sit down and told me I would NOT be a smoker if he could help it as he had battled that addiction all his life and it was too terrible to see me take it on (do as I say....). He made me sit down and smoke an entire pack one after the other until I was green! Actually, he left my mom to deal with it. He wasn't good at being "the bad guy." Poor Mom! I was sooo sick! He hoped I would never smoke again. It worked for awhile and then I picked it back up and smoked off and on until I was 19 and quit - never touched them, again.
The day I went to tell my dad I was pregnant at 19 with my now ex-husband in tow, was a dreadful day. My dad turned his controlled but direct anger towards him, which wasn't necessarily fair, but he was 8 years older than me and I think it hurt Dad too much to believe it was "my" fault. I won't go into details here about that event but I moved out of the house after that and my parents did not attend my wedding. It would be six months before we were together again, after that day.
While most girls are escorted down the aisle by a smiling father and given away to the man they love, I found out years later that my dad was lying in bed, shaking, hanging onto the rails behind his bed, in agony, that he had "let me down" in not raising me in church and to "know better." As I was crying on my way down the aisle, not because I was happy but because I knew I didn't love this man but believing I had to do the "right" thing and because my family was not there with me. I realized my choices had killed my little girl's dream. My mom told me years later that she and my grandmother were watching across the parking lot. It was a dark day but I had made my bed and was determined to lie in it, which I did for 18 years. Dad should have realized he had taught me that, by example. :)He could not attend, in good conscience, because of the fact that my ex-husband had been married before, causing me to commit adultery and because I was pregnant out of wedlock. Somehow, I was never angry at Dad for this. I knew what my dad believed and didn't really expect anything different. Right or wrong, my dad was a man who stood by what he believed and he believed, in his heart, he could not give me his blessing. He was heartbroken and so was I....
Remembering you, Daddy!
To be continued.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Monday
Right Now
Past. Present Future.
Time. Circumstances. Decisions.
What we have, girlfriends, is our right now! The choices we make today...to speak words that build up and offer hope, an approachable expression on our faces, the positive can-do attitude we choose to display, the prayer on our lips, the kindness and forgiveness we offer toward others, the healthy food choices we make, the decision to exercise and be our personal best. We cannot undo our yesterdays, only take steps that attempt to right any wrongs of which we are aware. leaving the results to God...and the choice to begin afresh.
The present - our moments, today, is within our reach. May God grant us eyes to see and ears to hear that what our moments consist of, grandiose, or seemingly insignificant happenings, and the reactions or responses we choose are what make up our lives and, ultimately, determine our destiny and the legacy we leave for others.
Let's build on a good foundation, today, by breathing a prayer for the people we love and the things we face, giving thanks for our blessings and then let's walk in love toward our family, friends, colleagues and those chance encounters that come our way.
Make it a fit day!
Still Climbing,
Cher
It seems that, for me, and likely for you, every day has it's challenges, laughter, tears, hopes and dreams, disappointments, successes and failures. In it all, God's grace is in view and available for me to experience if I listen for his still, small voice of comfort and direction. Being self absorbed tends to block the spiritual senses so let's pray together for a God-awareness throughout the day!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Time. Circumstances. Decisions.
What we have, girlfriends, is our right now! The choices we make today...to speak words that build up and offer hope, an approachable expression on our faces, the positive can-do attitude we choose to display, the prayer on our lips, the kindness and forgiveness we offer toward others, the healthy food choices we make, the decision to exercise and be our personal best. We cannot undo our yesterdays, only take steps that attempt to right any wrongs of which we are aware. leaving the results to God...and the choice to begin afresh.
The present - our moments, today, is within our reach. May God grant us eyes to see and ears to hear that what our moments consist of, grandiose, or seemingly insignificant happenings, and the reactions or responses we choose are what make up our lives and, ultimately, determine our destiny and the legacy we leave for others.
Let's build on a good foundation, today, by breathing a prayer for the people we love and the things we face, giving thanks for our blessings and then let's walk in love toward our family, friends, colleagues and those chance encounters that come our way.
Make it a fit day!
Still Climbing,
Cher
It seems that, for me, and likely for you, every day has it's challenges, laughter, tears, hopes and dreams, disappointments, successes and failures. In it all, God's grace is in view and available for me to experience if I listen for his still, small voice of comfort and direction. Being self absorbed tends to block the spiritual senses so let's pray together for a God-awareness throughout the day!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Friday
The Value of One Life
Girlfriends! :-D
Im thinking of the word, "value," which is closely associated with "worth." It denotes the regard or esteem placed on something and there is often a cost, a price involved in how we determine that value.
Today, I'm thinking of value as it relates to people and the opportunity to place value, a level of importance, a worth on the people we encounter each day. We have many opportunities, in a day, to place value on the people we meet. For me, it all relates to how I begin my day in those first moments of consciousness. It is my habit (although I'm ashamed to report that I have fallen out of it a number of times in my life) to whisper a good morning to God and to declare my love to him, thank him for allowing me breath and life for another day, ask for his guidance and that he would give me eyes to "see" and ears to "hear" what he wants me to be about, today. That is my first contact of the day and the most important one for me to place a high value upon!
From there, I have a myriad of encounters, some very brief (i.e. the guy behind the counter at the Valero station at my morning coffee stop, the other drivers on the road as I make my downtown commute (oh, yes, I'm afraid they DO count!! :0), the faces I pass as I make my way to the elevator, the girls who clean the glass doors and restrooms in our building, my co-workers...the day goes on and so do the encounters.
What value do I place on these chance meetings? Am I aware that they are even taking place or is my head buried in my cell phone texting, talking, listening to my ipod, etc? Do I take time to smile and acknowledge them by making eye contact? What about that coffee guy? Do I look for a name badge on his shirt or even ask him his name so that I can use it, placing value on him as more than just a figure behind the counter? Do I give a compliment when prompted in my thoughts? Do I look up from my computer and take a few minutes to listen to a co-workers heart?
What about the ones that live in my own home?? Are their words acknowledged so that they can see I place value on them? Do I practice actively listening? Do I still "see" them or are they permanent fixtures that I just expect to be there?
Ladies, our God is all about people. Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost and he is still all about that, today. Sure, we have responsibilities, we have jobs to do, we have many things to see to...but if we miss the main thing, which is placing value on the people that cross our paths each day, in little ways and big, some for a season and some forever, we will have missed everything! Think I'm overstating my case? Let's look at Jesus' words.
Jesus said, Matt. 22:37“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Today, let's ask God to give us eyes to "see" what matters and take time to acknowledge those whom he places in our path. We all get busy and fall short in this area. It may be a smile, a touch, a kind word, the sound of their name on our lips, giving it significance, an extra cup of coffee brought back from Starbucks, an invitation to a neighbor, the gift of listening...placing a high value on the most valuable of all -a human life for whom Jesus gave his life, will add value to our own lives. See what a difference your life - one life, can make. You could be a game-changer in the life of another person, with just a smile or a few words. Think of that!
Thanks for stopping by, today.
I would love to hear your comments or for you to drop me an email. It blesses my heart to know how God is working in your life and what challenges you are facing so I can know how to pray for you.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Im thinking of the word, "value," which is closely associated with "worth." It denotes the regard or esteem placed on something and there is often a cost, a price involved in how we determine that value.
Today, I'm thinking of value as it relates to people and the opportunity to place value, a level of importance, a worth on the people we encounter each day. We have many opportunities, in a day, to place value on the people we meet. For me, it all relates to how I begin my day in those first moments of consciousness. It is my habit (although I'm ashamed to report that I have fallen out of it a number of times in my life) to whisper a good morning to God and to declare my love to him, thank him for allowing me breath and life for another day, ask for his guidance and that he would give me eyes to "see" and ears to "hear" what he wants me to be about, today. That is my first contact of the day and the most important one for me to place a high value upon!
From there, I have a myriad of encounters, some very brief (i.e. the guy behind the counter at the Valero station at my morning coffee stop, the other drivers on the road as I make my downtown commute (oh, yes, I'm afraid they DO count!! :0), the faces I pass as I make my way to the elevator, the girls who clean the glass doors and restrooms in our building, my co-workers...the day goes on and so do the encounters.
What value do I place on these chance meetings? Am I aware that they are even taking place or is my head buried in my cell phone texting, talking, listening to my ipod, etc? Do I take time to smile and acknowledge them by making eye contact? What about that coffee guy? Do I look for a name badge on his shirt or even ask him his name so that I can use it, placing value on him as more than just a figure behind the counter? Do I give a compliment when prompted in my thoughts? Do I look up from my computer and take a few minutes to listen to a co-workers heart?
What about the ones that live in my own home?? Are their words acknowledged so that they can see I place value on them? Do I practice actively listening? Do I still "see" them or are they permanent fixtures that I just expect to be there?
Ladies, our God is all about people. Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost and he is still all about that, today. Sure, we have responsibilities, we have jobs to do, we have many things to see to...but if we miss the main thing, which is placing value on the people that cross our paths each day, in little ways and big, some for a season and some forever, we will have missed everything! Think I'm overstating my case? Let's look at Jesus' words.
Jesus said, Matt. 22:37“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Today, let's ask God to give us eyes to "see" what matters and take time to acknowledge those whom he places in our path. We all get busy and fall short in this area. It may be a smile, a touch, a kind word, the sound of their name on our lips, giving it significance, an extra cup of coffee brought back from Starbucks, an invitation to a neighbor, the gift of listening...placing a high value on the most valuable of all -a human life for whom Jesus gave his life, will add value to our own lives. See what a difference your life - one life, can make. You could be a game-changer in the life of another person, with just a smile or a few words. Think of that!
Thanks for stopping by, today.
I would love to hear your comments or for you to drop me an email. It blesses my heart to know how God is working in your life and what challenges you are facing so I can know how to pray for you.
Still Climbing,
Cher
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