Girlfriends!:-))
Tomorrow I am giving a speech in our "Humorous Speech" contest at our corporate Toastmasters club. I am really more of a motivational verses "funny" speaker but I always try to take advanatage of opportunities to practice public speaking so...as I began thinking about it, I realized that I could share the humor in my experience of leaving the Mennonite church in 2004. At the time, it was anything but funny and yet, as with many difficult experiences in life, hindsight provides some humorous moments. This is no exception! Humor has played a vital role in working through the unique scars I carry from having made this type of lifestyle change and change again!
I recall the day I decided to begin the process of leaving or to at least see what it felt like to look "outside" again...I decided to head to Little Rock on a Saturday morning. The only clothes I had were my long, homemade dresses so I put one on, as usual, but I decided to leave my hair down out of the black head covering that I normally donned every day. I put on some Keds, my sunglasses and snuck out the front door of my house (I felt very conspicuous to say the least!) and quickly got into the little Nissan pickup I drove and took off for what was about a 1 1/2hour drive. I found out later, one of my Mennonite "sisters" saw me driving fast down the highway, hair flying, and was worried. Everyone knew what I had been through with the divorce and my two younger boys leaving for their dad's 2 1/2 years later for "the world."
When I arrived, I went straight to the mall (Dillards) and decided to try on some jeans. I had not been in a pair of blue jeans in years so it was quite an adventure. I remember the girl who helped me was so cute and she must have wondered where I had come from! I remember telling her from the dressing room, as I tugged and pulled on the jeans to get them to come "up" to my waist, "Where are the rest of these jeans?!" When I had been wearing them last, they were still high-waisted and now the low rise effect had come into play. She said, "Well, you go girl - you have a cute figure to wear them!" lol She couldn't have possibly known how strange it all felt!
I found a top to go with them and took the tags off so I could wear them out of the store. I tossed the dress in the trash can on my way to the cosmetic counter, feeling somewhat liberated, excited and guilty/nervous. Prior to becoming a Mennonite, I had been a make-up artist for various venues but it had been a long time since I had any on so I let the girl behind the counter help me to do my face. I had a flashback remembering how I had cried when I first became a Mennonite and walked out of my room in a newly homemade dress, no make-up, no jewelry and my hair all pulled up in the covering. I felt so plain and unattractive for quite some time as I made the adjustment and now I had make-up on again. I felt pretty but was in constant hope no one would see me from the church as Mennonites did shop in Little Rock. My next stop was to check into the Embassy Suites. I've always loved their hotels! :) I went up to the room and sat on the bed. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror a few times. Finally, I turned on the TV. I had not had one in several years so this was yet another strange experience. I watched the Cosby show and laughed, wondering if it was ok to do so. It felt strange to be watching TV! Imagine the shock I had once I realized how mild the Cosby show was and what else was available! A lot of changes in entertainment allowances took place in a few years! I turned the TV off and turned on the radio. I put it on New Country music and got up and danced around a little bit in my room. :-0 I was also praying during this time about all of it and talking to God about how I was feeling. I'm sure it would have made a great Reality TV moment!
To be continued...stay tuned!
Still Climbing,
Cher
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