"It's none of my business what people think of or say about me." Anthony Hopkins.
I've been thinking of this statement in recent weeks. We give a lot of energy to fretting about what others think of us or say 'behind out backs.' We all want to be liked, admired, respected and to believe that people think and speak well of us. Rather than spending our energy in this way, let's begin to pray, each day, that we may BE what we hope people see.
Thinking through the list of descriptive words in the 5th chapter of the book of Galatians, describing the fruit of the Spirit, these are the traits that we, as believers in Jesus Christ, desire to be evident in our lives, I realize that this list will never be attributed to me by spending my time desperately wanting others to see them. My focus is far better spent in cultivating these character traits by living, today, for an audience of One.
As I open God's Word each day, inviting the Holy Spirit to shine his discerning spotlight into my heart, revealing my thoughts, intentions and my need of him, he will create, day by day, a landscape in my life that showcases the traits that I hope people see in my daily encounters.
Don't waste precious and limited energy worrying about what others think of you or what they are saying. Focus on the One who created you for his purpose and is ready to share his amazing grace, through you, as you wait before him in faith and walk in humble confidence knowing he is at work.
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Friday
Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Romans 2:15
Greetings, girlfriends! We attended my grandmothers' funeral this week (she was 101!) My middle son got a great new job on the same day she passed. I was reminded, again, of this blog I had written back in 2010. I thought it would be appropriate to re-post it now. -
I found out some very sad news, late last week. A former boss of mine, and his wife, both attorneys for the law firm where I previously worked, were vacationing together, in Italy, when his wife became very ill. She was taken to the hospital where, several hours later, the doctors appeared in the waiting room, to tell her husband she had an aneurism and there was nothing they could do...they had lost her. She was 51 years young, beautiful, smart, full of life and a devoted wife and mother. I can't even imagine the shock, pain and lonliness her husband must have felt. One of my closest friends has worked for them for 10 years and was devastated, of course. My heart cried out to God, along with everyone else's, for comfort and meaning in such a seemingly cruel act of fate.
Right on the heels of this news, I received a call from another close friend of mine, who lives in the same town, telling me of her proposal from her boyfriend! :-)It was contagious to share in her joy and excitement, as he had made it very special, including a scavenger hunt and had done a great deal of preparation!
I was reminded of the "big" events of life and how they often play out. There is the excitement of a new life coming into the world and the sadness of parting with our loved ones in death. There is the joy and happiness of a wedding, as a couple begin their lives together, with bright hope and plans for their future, while nearby, there is the devastation of a family ripped apart by divorce and the pain and suffering that goes with their dreams of forever.
I recall when my dad suddenly passed away, almost 8 years ago, and how I was shocked at how the world could go on, laughing and playing, as though my world had not just been demolished! It seemed cruel and unfair, at the time, for others to be happy and enjoying themselves. Of course, this was the viewpoint of a grieving daughter. I know many of you have experienced what I'm talking about in some scenario in your life.
The Bible tells us to be happy with those who are happy and to cry with those who cry. In this we can see that our Father knows the hurts and the happiness that are all a part of our journey from life to death and into eternity. The happy occasions we so enjoy, new babies, weddings, holidays, graduations and so on are a glimpse of heaven where all will be good and right. The terrible ache for the parent who has lost a child or the widow who has been left alone to grieve her longtime companion, the ongoing pain of divorce and brokenness of a family, the loss of a job, the terminal illness,...In it all, God calls us to be involved, as Christians who are here to express his love and goodness, to be the light of God's love into the hearts of their fellow man.
Who do you know, today, who is rejoicing in a happy place? Be happy with them. Let them know it. Sometimes, when a friend, co-worker or, even a family member, is blessed financially, relationally, or in some other way while we are in a hurting place, we find it hard to be happy with them, don't we? And yet, we miss out on SO much when we fail to share in the happiness of others!
Do you know someone who is hurting? Someone battling with a difficult or dissolving marriage, a handicapped child, the one who faces chemotherapy, not knowing if they will survive, the loss of a job or financial ruin...we could go on. Cry with them. Pray for them. Sometimes that is all we can do. Allow your heart to love, to care, to reach out beyond your own circumstances whether they are good or bad and find the truth in Jesus' words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
Still Climbing,
Cher
I found out some very sad news, late last week. A former boss of mine, and his wife, both attorneys for the law firm where I previously worked, were vacationing together, in Italy, when his wife became very ill. She was taken to the hospital where, several hours later, the doctors appeared in the waiting room, to tell her husband she had an aneurism and there was nothing they could do...they had lost her. She was 51 years young, beautiful, smart, full of life and a devoted wife and mother. I can't even imagine the shock, pain and lonliness her husband must have felt. One of my closest friends has worked for them for 10 years and was devastated, of course. My heart cried out to God, along with everyone else's, for comfort and meaning in such a seemingly cruel act of fate.
Right on the heels of this news, I received a call from another close friend of mine, who lives in the same town, telling me of her proposal from her boyfriend! :-)It was contagious to share in her joy and excitement, as he had made it very special, including a scavenger hunt and had done a great deal of preparation!
I was reminded of the "big" events of life and how they often play out. There is the excitement of a new life coming into the world and the sadness of parting with our loved ones in death. There is the joy and happiness of a wedding, as a couple begin their lives together, with bright hope and plans for their future, while nearby, there is the devastation of a family ripped apart by divorce and the pain and suffering that goes with their dreams of forever.
I recall when my dad suddenly passed away, almost 8 years ago, and how I was shocked at how the world could go on, laughing and playing, as though my world had not just been demolished! It seemed cruel and unfair, at the time, for others to be happy and enjoying themselves. Of course, this was the viewpoint of a grieving daughter. I know many of you have experienced what I'm talking about in some scenario in your life.
The Bible tells us to be happy with those who are happy and to cry with those who cry. In this we can see that our Father knows the hurts and the happiness that are all a part of our journey from life to death and into eternity. The happy occasions we so enjoy, new babies, weddings, holidays, graduations and so on are a glimpse of heaven where all will be good and right. The terrible ache for the parent who has lost a child or the widow who has been left alone to grieve her longtime companion, the ongoing pain of divorce and brokenness of a family, the loss of a job, the terminal illness,...In it all, God calls us to be involved, as Christians who are here to express his love and goodness, to be the light of God's love into the hearts of their fellow man.
Who do you know, today, who is rejoicing in a happy place? Be happy with them. Let them know it. Sometimes, when a friend, co-worker or, even a family member, is blessed financially, relationally, or in some other way while we are in a hurting place, we find it hard to be happy with them, don't we? And yet, we miss out on SO much when we fail to share in the happiness of others!
Do you know someone who is hurting? Someone battling with a difficult or dissolving marriage, a handicapped child, the one who faces chemotherapy, not knowing if they will survive, the loss of a job or financial ruin...we could go on. Cry with them. Pray for them. Sometimes that is all we can do. Allow your heart to love, to care, to reach out beyond your own circumstances whether they are good or bad and find the truth in Jesus' words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
Still Climbing,
Cher
Saturday
Though he slay me yet I will trust him. Job 13:15
Though the fig tree shall not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls YET I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17
As I am struggling through a stormy situation, in a particular area of my life, I am reminded of a time when I experienced what, for me, felt like a Category 5. I lost everything that mattered to me and truly didn't know how to survive, emotionally or spiritually. I was divorced 2.5 years earlier and my two younger children, who were now 13 and 15, were battling the reality of going between homes, ours a simple Mennonite home, in the country, with a lot of love and the security of a strong community and, their dad's, a home in Suburbia where they would go to movies, listen to music, wear the latest teen fashion from the mall, swim in the back yard pool of the executive home where their dad and new step-mom lived, have free access to the internet and TV in their rooms and even get to take trips out of the country on holidays. They would come back to me and our quiet, plain life and it would be obvious that they wanted the life their dad could offer them but didn't want to hurt me. The elder was also "finished" with school and working full time, since Mennonite children only go through 8th grade and then start to work in a trade, most often with their dad or a relative. As you can imagine, given the option, at these ages, the inevitable happened, when my youngest called from a visit at his dad's, and said, "Mom, I'm going to stay here and live with Dad. He said it's going to be like "name," an amusement park in the city, at that time. One week after his move, my dad, who was my solid rock of support, died suddenly from Acute Leukemia. I walked through the funeral in a fog of grief and sadness that I thought I could not recover from. My middle son tried to stay with me, as he didn't want to leave me, after he saw the pain his brother's move caused, followed by the loss of his Papa and yet, it was so clear he was not going to join the Mennonite church. At 15, he wanted to go to high school and experience all the things he was "missing." I knew he could not and would not stay, with this mindset, and only an 8th grade education, which works very well if your life is embedded in the Mennonite community, but is most often disastrous in the "real world," so through a series of discussions about his intentions, I felt I had no choice but to release him to make the move, as well, knowing the deep separation this would bring, due to the vast differences in lifestyle (to use an extreme example but not too far from the truth, think of moving from a scene of Little House on the Prairie to Hollywood). It was a life altering decision for us, as a family, and would unleash a time I refer to, in my soon to be published book, Don't Waste Your Hurricane: Exodus From an Amish-flavored Life; Moving From Paralyzing Pain Into Powerful Purpose, as 'The beginning of sorrows.'
The Scripture says, in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." I do believe this verse is applicable in any situation as we lean into God's mercy and grace, and yet, we are imperfect humans beings and I struggled with feeling all of those things; crushed, in despair, forsaken and destroyed. The thing I most feared had come upon me and it was a severe blow.
God in his grace and kindness came to me, at pivotal points, and still does, 9 years down this rocky path marked by grace, and gave me the verses from Malachi. Was my faith in him real? Was I playing Christian or was I really a woman of faith? Do any of us know how to walk "successfully" through devastation until we are faced with it and must choose, continually, to walk by faith and even with "no herd in the stalls," rejoice in the God of our salvation, believing he will work ALL things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Romans 8:28.
Many, if not all of us, experience those "Job" happenings, in our lives, at some point. It comes in various, unwelcome forms through terminal illness, the unfathomable death of a child, a devastating divorce, financial crisis, the experience of abuse or neglect... that hurl us into a place where we choose to lean into Jesus or move away from believing God has our good in mind. For most, we fluctuate between the two and it takes his loving reminders that he sees us and knows where we are, even in hurricane conditions, and that he will use these broken places in us to reveal himself. As our faith is tested, it produces perseverance, and as we allow perseverance to finish it's work, we will become mature and complete, lacking nothing.
Still Climbing,
Cher
As I am struggling through a stormy situation, in a particular area of my life, I am reminded of a time when I experienced what, for me, felt like a Category 5. I lost everything that mattered to me and truly didn't know how to survive, emotionally or spiritually. I was divorced 2.5 years earlier and my two younger children, who were now 13 and 15, were battling the reality of going between homes, ours a simple Mennonite home, in the country, with a lot of love and the security of a strong community and, their dad's, a home in Suburbia where they would go to movies, listen to music, wear the latest teen fashion from the mall, swim in the back yard pool of the executive home where their dad and new step-mom lived, have free access to the internet and TV in their rooms and even get to take trips out of the country on holidays. They would come back to me and our quiet, plain life and it would be obvious that they wanted the life their dad could offer them but didn't want to hurt me. The elder was also "finished" with school and working full time, since Mennonite children only go through 8th grade and then start to work in a trade, most often with their dad or a relative. As you can imagine, given the option, at these ages, the inevitable happened, when my youngest called from a visit at his dad's, and said, "Mom, I'm going to stay here and live with Dad. He said it's going to be like "name," an amusement park in the city, at that time. One week after his move, my dad, who was my solid rock of support, died suddenly from Acute Leukemia. I walked through the funeral in a fog of grief and sadness that I thought I could not recover from. My middle son tried to stay with me, as he didn't want to leave me, after he saw the pain his brother's move caused, followed by the loss of his Papa and yet, it was so clear he was not going to join the Mennonite church. At 15, he wanted to go to high school and experience all the things he was "missing." I knew he could not and would not stay, with this mindset, and only an 8th grade education, which works very well if your life is embedded in the Mennonite community, but is most often disastrous in the "real world," so through a series of discussions about his intentions, I felt I had no choice but to release him to make the move, as well, knowing the deep separation this would bring, due to the vast differences in lifestyle (to use an extreme example but not too far from the truth, think of moving from a scene of Little House on the Prairie to Hollywood). It was a life altering decision for us, as a family, and would unleash a time I refer to, in my soon to be published book, Don't Waste Your Hurricane: Exodus From an Amish-flavored Life; Moving From Paralyzing Pain Into Powerful Purpose, as 'The beginning of sorrows.'
The Scripture says, in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." I do believe this verse is applicable in any situation as we lean into God's mercy and grace, and yet, we are imperfect humans beings and I struggled with feeling all of those things; crushed, in despair, forsaken and destroyed. The thing I most feared had come upon me and it was a severe blow.
God in his grace and kindness came to me, at pivotal points, and still does, 9 years down this rocky path marked by grace, and gave me the verses from Malachi. Was my faith in him real? Was I playing Christian or was I really a woman of faith? Do any of us know how to walk "successfully" through devastation until we are faced with it and must choose, continually, to walk by faith and even with "no herd in the stalls," rejoice in the God of our salvation, believing he will work ALL things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Romans 8:28.
Many, if not all of us, experience those "Job" happenings, in our lives, at some point. It comes in various, unwelcome forms through terminal illness, the unfathomable death of a child, a devastating divorce, financial crisis, the experience of abuse or neglect... that hurl us into a place where we choose to lean into Jesus or move away from believing God has our good in mind. For most, we fluctuate between the two and it takes his loving reminders that he sees us and knows where we are, even in hurricane conditions, and that he will use these broken places in us to reveal himself. As our faith is tested, it produces perseverance, and as we allow perseverance to finish it's work, we will become mature and complete, lacking nothing.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Thursday
All Things New
Hey Girlfriends!
It's been a while, so pull up a chair and your favorite healthy drink and let's catch up on all the latest!
Wow, what a busy time it's been these past few months! ChersFit4Life has taken off in such an EXCITING way and I'm so passionate about the message God has given me to share with other women in promoting the pursuit of P.E.I.S. and turning our paralyzing pain into powerful purpose!
Speaking at the Women's Life Accelerated Bootcamp, sponsored by KS Agency, followed by an invitation to be the keynote speaker at the Women's Inspirational Retreat in beautiful northern California, are special highlights of these past few months.
I completed two courses to become a Certified Power Coach and a Certified Life Coach and am anxious to begin my coaching practice where I will coach my clients to success in their goals, both personal and professional.
Jones & Jones Designs built my beautiful new website and captured the essence of who I am, what I believe and what I am about.
Memoir - expected release date: Spring 2014:
Don't Waste Your Hurricane; Exodus From an Amish-flavored Life
Turning Paralyzing Pain Into Powerful Purpose
Awesome t-shirts and caps are on the way with the ChersFit4Life logo, "Still Climbing."
My husband has been amazing through all the many hours of dedicated writing, speaking engagements, time buried in my laptop designing, emailing, etc. I could not have done all of this without his support.
God has given me purpose in my pain and I'm so excited to share the encouragement, hope and joy that can be found in our hurricane seasons. He makes all things new and gives purpose to our suffering. (Rev 21:5, Rom 8:28).
Be sure and reach out to me and let me know if something you find here touches you in some small way or if you are looking for a speaker at your next event or want to discuss Life or Fitness Coaching!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Tuesday
Its 3:15 a.m. The "Knowing" Place
Girlfriends!
Why don't we take a few minutes and chat about our "knowing" place, today. You know what I'm talking about. It's that place you find yourself when something wakes you up at 3:15 in the morning...a dog barks, tires screech, a train whistle blows in the distance, too much coke before bedtime :) Whatever the reason, you are awake and it's so still, sooooo quiet. It's like no other time of your day. If you lean into the stillness and listen to the quiet, you encounter it...your "knowing" place. It's where you store what you know in your knower! :-)
Today, we surround ourselves with so much noise and activity; we have a constant influx of material coming at us and filling our minds so that there is hardly time for any quiet reflection or real communication with each other. I had to smile, to myself, when I passed by two people, recently, at a table, having lunch, each one texting, presumably, having a separate conversation, with 2 open laptops between them! Nice lunch! :-) With our blackberrys, smart phones, laptops, T.V.'s, cell phones, ipod's, PSP's, WII's, portable DVD's, IPAD's....and no doubt newer gadgets that I am as of yet, unaware, the information in our knowers (the place where the knowing place stores what we know) can hardly be heard - too much competition!! These things may all have their place but let's not forget the value of some quiet time to re-group and evaluate what we are about. :-)
Let me simplify what I wanna say here, today. I just want to encourage you to take a visit to your knowing place and really know what you know in your knower! :-D Got that? lol! It's very likely that you KNOW what you need to do in most situations you face, today. If you look back, and you are anything like me, you can see that where you had a pretty good idea what you should or should not have said, or done, at the beginning of your decision making process. In most cases. you can see where you took the wrong road and it all began in your knower. You had that feeling of discomfort or doubt but acted, while ignoring that small but undeniable voice. As you ignored it, it grew fainter and the noise of what you wanted to do, at the time, grew louder, right along with a small but growing sense of unrest inside. I would speculate some of the results, in various situations, have included symptoms like fatigue, guilt, lack of peace or anxiety, confusion. weight gain, weight loss, mood swings, a sense of sadness, relational issues, etc. Any time we step outside the realm of our true core beliefs and values, we will suffer some of these or other hurtful symptoms. These are warning signs to us, from a good God, that we need to re-evaluate where we moved away from our knowing place and get back "in the zone" or, we could say, back in tune with our knower because that is the place where we find rest and peace. It is the place where we are living out what we truly believe is right, in our hearts. Make sense?
I want to offer up one disclaimer here...Do I mean, by this, that just because a person believes something is right, it automatically is? Whoa! Hold onto your seatbelts...Absolutely not! The people who flew into our towers on 911 apparently believed they were doing what was right! The Bible does indicate that it is possible to be deceived. "There is a way that seems right unto a man but the end thereof is death." (Proverbs 16:25) I wish I had an easy answer for how this can be avoided...but I can say this. I truly don't believe we need to fear this happening to us if we will remember the first 2 commandments. "Love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might and all your strengh and...love your neighbor as yourself". (Deut 6:5, Luke 10:27) Check with your knower and I believe you will find confirmation that this agrees with all that is right and good!! :-) I also have confidence that as we seek God with these key commandments at the forefront, open and honest hearts and a humble spirit, we will know and understand the truth. It may take more than one trip, or an extended stay, to our knowing place, in order to reconnect and tune in, especially if we have become dull in our senses over a period of time. Persist and your knower will reveal itself once again!
I believe in order to experience true peace (P.E.I.S.) we need to make a visit to our "knowing" place and ask God to shine his all-knowing and all-loving searchlight into our hearts and check our "fitness" levels, Physically, Emotionally, Intellectually and Spiritually. Each of these begins with a visit to our knowing place. We can know in our knower what is right but we need the power to DO what is right. This is where spirituality comes in. My challenge to you, and to myself, today, is to visit your knowing place - it doesn't have to be 3:15 a.m. but you do have to get still and quiet, and may I suggest you invite God to join you? He is the one who has the ability to reveal what you need and to supply the power to live out what you discover. He wants to share with you, as your Creator, the plans he has for you and the purpose he wants to fulfill in your life.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Why don't we take a few minutes and chat about our "knowing" place, today. You know what I'm talking about. It's that place you find yourself when something wakes you up at 3:15 in the morning...a dog barks, tires screech, a train whistle blows in the distance, too much coke before bedtime :) Whatever the reason, you are awake and it's so still, sooooo quiet. It's like no other time of your day. If you lean into the stillness and listen to the quiet, you encounter it...your "knowing" place. It's where you store what you know in your knower! :-)
Today, we surround ourselves with so much noise and activity; we have a constant influx of material coming at us and filling our minds so that there is hardly time for any quiet reflection or real communication with each other. I had to smile, to myself, when I passed by two people, recently, at a table, having lunch, each one texting, presumably, having a separate conversation, with 2 open laptops between them! Nice lunch! :-) With our blackberrys, smart phones, laptops, T.V.'s, cell phones, ipod's, PSP's, WII's, portable DVD's, IPAD's....and no doubt newer gadgets that I am as of yet, unaware, the information in our knowers (the place where the knowing place stores what we know) can hardly be heard - too much competition!! These things may all have their place but let's not forget the value of some quiet time to re-group and evaluate what we are about. :-)
Let me simplify what I wanna say here, today. I just want to encourage you to take a visit to your knowing place and really know what you know in your knower! :-D Got that? lol! It's very likely that you KNOW what you need to do in most situations you face, today. If you look back, and you are anything like me, you can see that where you had a pretty good idea what you should or should not have said, or done, at the beginning of your decision making process. In most cases. you can see where you took the wrong road and it all began in your knower. You had that feeling of discomfort or doubt but acted, while ignoring that small but undeniable voice. As you ignored it, it grew fainter and the noise of what you wanted to do, at the time, grew louder, right along with a small but growing sense of unrest inside. I would speculate some of the results, in various situations, have included symptoms like fatigue, guilt, lack of peace or anxiety, confusion. weight gain, weight loss, mood swings, a sense of sadness, relational issues, etc. Any time we step outside the realm of our true core beliefs and values, we will suffer some of these or other hurtful symptoms. These are warning signs to us, from a good God, that we need to re-evaluate where we moved away from our knowing place and get back "in the zone" or, we could say, back in tune with our knower because that is the place where we find rest and peace. It is the place where we are living out what we truly believe is right, in our hearts. Make sense?
I want to offer up one disclaimer here...Do I mean, by this, that just because a person believes something is right, it automatically is? Whoa! Hold onto your seatbelts...Absolutely not! The people who flew into our towers on 911 apparently believed they were doing what was right! The Bible does indicate that it is possible to be deceived. "There is a way that seems right unto a man but the end thereof is death." (Proverbs 16:25) I wish I had an easy answer for how this can be avoided...but I can say this. I truly don't believe we need to fear this happening to us if we will remember the first 2 commandments. "Love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might and all your strengh and...love your neighbor as yourself". (Deut 6:5, Luke 10:27) Check with your knower and I believe you will find confirmation that this agrees with all that is right and good!! :-) I also have confidence that as we seek God with these key commandments at the forefront, open and honest hearts and a humble spirit, we will know and understand the truth. It may take more than one trip, or an extended stay, to our knowing place, in order to reconnect and tune in, especially if we have become dull in our senses over a period of time. Persist and your knower will reveal itself once again!
I believe in order to experience true peace (P.E.I.S.) we need to make a visit to our "knowing" place and ask God to shine his all-knowing and all-loving searchlight into our hearts and check our "fitness" levels, Physically, Emotionally, Intellectually and Spiritually. Each of these begins with a visit to our knowing place. We can know in our knower what is right but we need the power to DO what is right. This is where spirituality comes in. My challenge to you, and to myself, today, is to visit your knowing place - it doesn't have to be 3:15 a.m. but you do have to get still and quiet, and may I suggest you invite God to join you? He is the one who has the ability to reveal what you need and to supply the power to live out what you discover. He wants to share with you, as your Creator, the plans he has for you and the purpose he wants to fulfill in your life.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Friday
What Do I Eat? Here's the Deal.
variety of them at least for the short term. Now, let me tell you what works, makes the most sense and, best of all, it's SIMPLE and doesn't require going to specialty stores or spending ridiculous amounts of time in the kitchen - yay!
Michael Pollan wrote a book titled Food Rules and I highly recommend it. It's premises is based on 3 simple principles.
Eat FOOD.
MOSTLY PLANTS.
Eat LESS.
How refreshing!
He contends that we shouldn't eat anything our great grandmother wouldn't recognize as FOOD. He uses go-gurt in a tube as an example lol~! We all know all this processed, packaged food with an eternal shelf life is killing us, don't we?
As a general rule, eat foods with 5 or less ingredients, ones you recognize and would use in your kitchen. Honey would be a rare exception as it has a long shelf life but is a great way to satisfy your sweet craving when you need it! Most foods should have an expiration date at some point!
Eat when you are hungry and stop eating when you are no longer hungry but are not completely full, between 65-80%.
Make a treat just that - a treat. Not your regular way of eating.
Occasionally, break the rules!
Now let's see what an example looks like in real terms on a typical day for me.
Start the morning off with 20 oz. water with my workout (after if I'm running). Coffee on my way to work and once I get settled in, I start on my next water and have a 1/2 banana with half of the 1/4 cup of raw almonds I brought for the day. could also be eggs or steel cut oatmeal(no sugar - honey, berries and a few slivered almonds).
I have found that halving everything is a great way to lessen my calorie intake and have more snacks throughout the day - I can eat the other half of the banana and nuts if I get hungry in an hour or two. If you like, go ahead and eat the whole serving at one time according to your preference. I also like to cut up my banana and nuts in pieces on a plate and slightly drizzle it with local, raw honey and cinnamon. when I have time, such as weekends,I'll likely have a large helping of egg whites (6) or 2 whole eggs or I may have oatmeal with banana, honey and cinnamon. I normally limit my bread intake to a weekend treat and then keep it minimal Hamburger? Eat 1/2 bun; Sandwich? Just 1 slice of bread and so on.
For snacking, limit yourself to fruit, vegetables and nuts. You will grow accustomed to enjoying these natural snacks and the cravings for processed foods will soon disappear. If you like having a bar, choose larabars, which are the most natural, having only a few real food ingredients rather than a long list of chemicals.
For lunch it could be a large salad with olives, corn salsa,and grilled chicken or salmon. Drizzle with a little olive oil, rice vinegar and lemon. Yum! For an afternoon snack, choose a piece of fruit and a few nuts or your larabar. Dinner can be any 4 oz. piece of lean meat, grilled, a green veggie and a baked sweet potato with a thin slice of butter. Oh I also like to put a little Tony Cacheres on mine! Sweet and salty - so good! *Don't eat margarine or butter substitute to save calories- it's a chemical! Evening snack - if you must, keep it light and a small portion such as some berries or other 1/2 piece of fruit. Hope this helps a little bit! Check out the book for more tips! I keep it handy as a great reminder. Still Climbing, Cher
Tuesday
My Darkest Day
Web friends, I ask for your patience and your prayers as I open my heart, today.
It takes an extra measure of God's grace for me to recall one of the most painful times in my life. For many years, I could not speak about or even think about this dark time without struggling to breathe and sobbing, uncontrollably. I am not one prone to such displays so it was very difficult to accept my involuntary response to the pain.
Seven years have passed and I can now share - sometimes my breathing still becomes labored and my eyes fill as the painful memories are brought to the surface, but time and grace have brought a measure of healing and relief for which I'm very grateful! I'm sure you are wondering WHY? Why would I want to expose painful and personal happenings in my life for all the world to see? Good question! :-) There is one reason. Healing. For my family, myself and those of you whose personal pain may be paralyzing you. I want to share so that you may know there is HOPE and even JOY available to you, by grace, even through the stormiest seas. Our God, who offered himself up for us all, understands and is touched by our pain - he waits for us to come to him with our deep hurts and find rest for our souls. This, I believe!
There is much left out here for the sake of brevity - watch for my book to be published later this year for a more detailed description....Don't Waste Your Hurricane - My Journey To PEIS.
After the divorce from my husband of 18 years and choosing to remain with the Mennonite church with my 3 boys who were then 17, 13 and 11, I got a job and did my best, with much help from these wonderfully kind people, to maintain a nurturing home for my family. We had become very much a part of the Mennonite faith and lifestyle and we continued on. Over the next two years, their father, who had moved from Arkansas back to Houston (our native city), remarried and bought a large, beautiful home with all the "worldly" amenities we had lived without for some time, began to fly the boys out to visit him. At first the boys would not go visit and clung to me and the sheltered lifestyle they knew, with the exception of my 15 year old who was well settled, a member of the church and was not interested in visiting. As my two younger boys began to go for repeated visits, they were naturally drawn to the lifestyle their dad was now involved in and offering to them. They each had their own room equipped with a TV and computer and when they visited, he bought them name brand clothing and took them on vacations and to movies. It isn't hard to imagine that by the time they were 15 and 13, they were enjoying these amenities very much and it became harder for them to adjust when they came home to "Little House on the Prairie."
My 13 year old began to act out and show his independent spirit :) and told me that he did not mean to be disrespectful but that I really could not tell him what to do anymore....the dye was caste and soon it was time for another visit with their dad. When they should have been preparing to return home, I received a call from my youngest. He said in a very sure and assertive voice, "Mom, I've decided to stay here and live with Dad. He says it's going to be like Astroworld!" He went on to talk about all the things they going to do. While my heart was breaking and my mind whirling, I managed to ask him, "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" This is when I discovered his dad on the other line as he warned me not to try and change his mind. I am not sure what else was said but I told him I loved him and hung up.
Now I know in divorce situations, children have the ability to choose with whom they want to live and it may not seem so very terrible. However, in this case, there was much more involved than a simple move down the street. This would mean a move to Houston and would create both a physical and relational separation as he adopted a "worldly" lifestyle and came under his dad's control. I knew both he and his father and the issues that I feared would bring many heartaches to come. I felt completely helpless.
Numb, I walked back to the bedroom he shared with his brother and picked up his baseball cap from his bedside. My baby boy! My beautiful (yes, boys can be beautiful - mine are!) smart, fun-loving, impulsive boy, full of "spit and vinegar" and SO much personality in one body...my legs gave way and I buckled to the floor in a heap with a feeling I can't describe, other than abject grief beyond anything else I had ever experienced (some of you know just what I'm talking about) though there would be many opportunities over the next several years for the experience of grief to become a familiar way of life. I cried and felt myself sinking into a dark place in prayer and tears. As I lay there, I heard a voice, not audible but every bit as clear, say to me, "Cherrie, do you want to give yourself to this?" I instantly knew this was a critical question and I could feel the pull to just follow that spiraling staircase down into the darkness that was enveloping me and never come back.
GRACE. It IS amazing. I found myself reaching deep within and, at the same time, reaching up and I managed to whisper the faintest "no" into the ears of a loving God. I knew I had to get up immediately or I would not get up at all. This is no exaggeration but my experience, as it was.
That happened 7 long years and many ensuing hurts ago, and yet, as I recall it, the hurt is as fresh as the day it happened.
What about your darkest day? Have you faced deep pain and heartache or has life been smooth sailing so far? We each have our own crosses to bear as we travel this road and also what I refer to as assigned blessings! :-D I believe, when Jesus says, "My grace is sufficient for YOU for my strength is made perfect in (your) weakness," he meant that his grace is sufficient for ME to carry the cross I must bear, not the grace needed to carry your cross. We have all said, "Oh, I could never take...." and we can't! We are given the measure of grace needed in the hour of our trial, not before but right on time. I have found God's grace IS sufficient if I avail myself of it. Too often, I've spent wasted time trying to pull myself up "by my bootstraps" trying to manufacture my own grace! MISTAKE! My part is the willingness to say, "Yes, Lord, I choose to LIVE. Give me grace!" The Grace part of the equation is God's specialty and is a gift, freely given, as requested. Run to him for an extra measure of grace, today - his supply never runs low and he will give you just what you need.
More to come, friends. I'm spent.
Still Climbing,
Cher
It takes an extra measure of God's grace for me to recall one of the most painful times in my life. For many years, I could not speak about or even think about this dark time without struggling to breathe and sobbing, uncontrollably. I am not one prone to such displays so it was very difficult to accept my involuntary response to the pain.
Seven years have passed and I can now share - sometimes my breathing still becomes labored and my eyes fill as the painful memories are brought to the surface, but time and grace have brought a measure of healing and relief for which I'm very grateful! I'm sure you are wondering WHY? Why would I want to expose painful and personal happenings in my life for all the world to see? Good question! :-) There is one reason. Healing. For my family, myself and those of you whose personal pain may be paralyzing you. I want to share so that you may know there is HOPE and even JOY available to you, by grace, even through the stormiest seas. Our God, who offered himself up for us all, understands and is touched by our pain - he waits for us to come to him with our deep hurts and find rest for our souls. This, I believe!
There is much left out here for the sake of brevity - watch for my book to be published later this year for a more detailed description....Don't Waste Your Hurricane - My Journey To PEIS.
After the divorce from my husband of 18 years and choosing to remain with the Mennonite church with my 3 boys who were then 17, 13 and 11, I got a job and did my best, with much help from these wonderfully kind people, to maintain a nurturing home for my family. We had become very much a part of the Mennonite faith and lifestyle and we continued on. Over the next two years, their father, who had moved from Arkansas back to Houston (our native city), remarried and bought a large, beautiful home with all the "worldly" amenities we had lived without for some time, began to fly the boys out to visit him. At first the boys would not go visit and clung to me and the sheltered lifestyle they knew, with the exception of my 15 year old who was well settled, a member of the church and was not interested in visiting. As my two younger boys began to go for repeated visits, they were naturally drawn to the lifestyle their dad was now involved in and offering to them. They each had their own room equipped with a TV and computer and when they visited, he bought them name brand clothing and took them on vacations and to movies. It isn't hard to imagine that by the time they were 15 and 13, they were enjoying these amenities very much and it became harder for them to adjust when they came home to "Little House on the Prairie."
My 13 year old began to act out and show his independent spirit :) and told me that he did not mean to be disrespectful but that I really could not tell him what to do anymore....the dye was caste and soon it was time for another visit with their dad. When they should have been preparing to return home, I received a call from my youngest. He said in a very sure and assertive voice, "Mom, I've decided to stay here and live with Dad. He says it's going to be like Astroworld!" He went on to talk about all the things they going to do. While my heart was breaking and my mind whirling, I managed to ask him, "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" This is when I discovered his dad on the other line as he warned me not to try and change his mind. I am not sure what else was said but I told him I loved him and hung up.
Now I know in divorce situations, children have the ability to choose with whom they want to live and it may not seem so very terrible. However, in this case, there was much more involved than a simple move down the street. This would mean a move to Houston and would create both a physical and relational separation as he adopted a "worldly" lifestyle and came under his dad's control. I knew both he and his father and the issues that I feared would bring many heartaches to come. I felt completely helpless.
Numb, I walked back to the bedroom he shared with his brother and picked up his baseball cap from his bedside. My baby boy! My beautiful (yes, boys can be beautiful - mine are!) smart, fun-loving, impulsive boy, full of "spit and vinegar" and SO much personality in one body...my legs gave way and I buckled to the floor in a heap with a feeling I can't describe, other than abject grief beyond anything else I had ever experienced (some of you know just what I'm talking about) though there would be many opportunities over the next several years for the experience of grief to become a familiar way of life. I cried and felt myself sinking into a dark place in prayer and tears. As I lay there, I heard a voice, not audible but every bit as clear, say to me, "Cherrie, do you want to give yourself to this?" I instantly knew this was a critical question and I could feel the pull to just follow that spiraling staircase down into the darkness that was enveloping me and never come back.
GRACE. It IS amazing. I found myself reaching deep within and, at the same time, reaching up and I managed to whisper the faintest "no" into the ears of a loving God. I knew I had to get up immediately or I would not get up at all. This is no exaggeration but my experience, as it was.
That happened 7 long years and many ensuing hurts ago, and yet, as I recall it, the hurt is as fresh as the day it happened.
What about your darkest day? Have you faced deep pain and heartache or has life been smooth sailing so far? We each have our own crosses to bear as we travel this road and also what I refer to as assigned blessings! :-D I believe, when Jesus says, "My grace is sufficient for YOU for my strength is made perfect in (your) weakness," he meant that his grace is sufficient for ME to carry the cross I must bear, not the grace needed to carry your cross. We have all said, "Oh, I could never take...." and we can't! We are given the measure of grace needed in the hour of our trial, not before but right on time. I have found God's grace IS sufficient if I avail myself of it. Too often, I've spent wasted time trying to pull myself up "by my bootstraps" trying to manufacture my own grace! MISTAKE! My part is the willingness to say, "Yes, Lord, I choose to LIVE. Give me grace!" The Grace part of the equation is God's specialty and is a gift, freely given, as requested. Run to him for an extra measure of grace, today - his supply never runs low and he will give you just what you need.
More to come, friends. I'm spent.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Monday
TIME...Not Enough?
Sweet Girlfriends!!
Pull up a chair and let's chat for a few minutes about a subject we all struggle with...TIME. Not just time but the desperate feeling many share in feeling they just don't have enough of it to fit "EVERYTHING" in. I've been asked to address this subject here and I am glad to share a few thoughts.
I think most would agree that time, and how we utilize it, is our most precious commodity. It is relentless in its determination to move steadily forward whether we use it wisely or squander it away.
As the old saying goes, "We all have the same 24 hours in a day" and it's up to each of us to decide what we do with that time. Let me begin by saying that my thoughts begin with a personal belief that the most valuable use of our time is found in building relationships. We should begin with God, our Creator. God made us for himself and so it makes the most sense to begin the day by spending a little time engaging in this most important relationship and seeking to lean into God's agenda for us as the day unfolds. I am not talking about hours of morning worship. Most of us don't have that luxury as the day rushes upon us but I do recommend that you get up at least 10 minutes earlier than you need to in order to have a brief reading of the Scriptures and a little time in prayer. Are there days when I don't get this in? Yes, of course, but I try to make that the exception rather than the rule. I like to spend this time mostly in worship, just acknowledging who God is, thanking him for the opportunity to make a difference today and letting him know I want to be close to him throughout my day. I can also insert here that if you have a commute to work or a short drive after dropping the kids off at school, you can utilize this as more relationship building time with God. Sometimes I keep my radio off and just pray. Other times, I turn on KSBJ and worship in song. NOTE: This takes discipline at first, just like forming any new habit. We all have an automatic "default" to what is comfortable. Once it becomes part of your daily routine, you will look forward to it but if you are new to the whole "communing with God" thing, give yourself some time to build an appetite for time spent with him. It will make you more aware of God's leading during your day.
Since we all have some activities that require non-negotiable time, we need to find ways to streamline our schedule and activities as much as possible. Do you have a dry cleaner, doctor, pharmacy, bank, nail salon, gym, grocer, etc. near your office so that you can utilize some of these during a lunch break or immediately after work for saving time? If so, see how you can integrate as many of the "have to's" into close proximity to your office or en route to other activities. Do you need to try and budget a housekeeper, even just once a month, to take care of the heavy cleaning so that your time is freed up for relationship building or other goals you are working on?
What about the "free" time you have? Don't be too quick to say you don't have any...If you have just 2-3 hours a day that are outside of your non-negotiable time at work or spent caring for an elderly parent,sitting on the stands at the kids' sporting events, how are you using this time? Are you building relationships in these situations? How about writing that blog you've been wanting to start or jotting down a to-do or working on your goals while sitting on the bleachers? Make the most of this time.
Let's face it. Some of our biggest time thieves are T.V. and social media/surfing the net. I have posed this question to myself and others, "Will you wish, at the end of your life, you had spent more time on either of these activities?" I enjoy FB, Twitter and an occasional show or movie and I'm not knocking them but it's clear that there are times I spend too much time on non-essentials and then bemoan that "I can't get it all done!" I am working on starting my coaching business so I do need to post every day but I can still set aside 1-2 times per day for a brief check-in and, otherwise...out of sight out of mind.
I can get so much done during the evening if I utilize "T.V. time" either by letting the guys in my house enjoy that time while I write, study, blog, do a quick clean up or at least fold a load or two of laundry while we are sitting there and put them away during the commercials.
Of course there are times I have put in a long day/week and I'm tired and just want to relax and do nothing! That is perfectly fine! We are talking about the patterns that define our lives, right? As long as I choose to engage and not procrastinate important items on a regular basis, there is always GRACE for the exception!
In a separate blog, I will share "...a day in the life of Cherrie" as I've been asked to do. It's not so exciting and certainly not perfect...lol! But if you find a tidbit that offers some hope from something I've learned to do as I juggle time with God, a long commute, demanding job, daily workouts, going back to school, volunteering at church, small group and working to launch my own business, while seeking to maintain my relationships with family and friends, I will be so happy! I am always learning from others and hope to continue for the rest of my days!
Hang with me girlfriends! There is time for the things you were created to do!
Still Climbing,
Cher
A bad day....marked by grace
Girlfriends, today I don't want to offer any motivational quips, quick fit tips or eating clean verbiage. I want to share a day I experienced a couple of weeks ago. I would call it a "bad" day. I'll let you judge for yourselves.
One of my sons, who works hard to make ends meet, while in college, lives on his own and works part time, texted me, at work, to call him and stated it was "an emergency." When I returned his call a few minutes later, the story that he relayed went like this.
"Mom, I parked in a handcicap space for maybe 20 minutes to go in and see a friend at his apartments and when I came out, my car was gone...towed. I went to pick up the car and discovered my license was expired (had expired on his birthday the same month)so I couldn't pick up my car. I went to the DMV to get my license renewed and....(you guessed it)...they informed me I owed money to the state of Arkansas!"
I believe my initial response was a big sigh (not into the receiver) and a prayer for grace. A day and 1/2 later of vacation time(mine)and 2 additional trips to the DMV, multiple phone calls, being on hold for loooooonnnng periods of time, followed by fees paid to the state of Arkansas (for a speeding ticket he had received 7 years prior and had not paid)about $900 all in all (his dad assisted, too), including the storage fee on the car in the tow lot, and we were back in business. My son said, "All this for 20 minutes in a handicap space...never again!"
I looked my son in his pretty green eyes and explained that I had been the recipient of much grace and now he was receiving a little of that same grace. You see, my son is not a believer, just yet, and he needs to understand and experience grace and forgiveness, that unearned favor we all long for and have a hard time grasping. He knew what he'd done wrong and didn't need me to remind him just then.
Was I frustrated? Ummm, have you spent much time in the DMV? Was I irritated? Somewhat. Did I want to spend my hard earned money or vacation time this way? Guess, again.
Sweet friends, I'm not glamorizing or purporting enabling our kids to make bad decisions without consequences. I am simply stating there are times when we need to realize, "Freely you have received. Freely give." Matthew 10:8
Keep Climbing: Is there someone who needs grace in your circle, today? Is God calling you to an opportunity to offer grace, freely, without a lecture or a harsh word about "what I having to do....for you!" Ask the Lord to reveal these times to you. Sometimes an opportunity to show grace can be hidden in a "bad day."
Still Climbing,
Cher
Surely he was the Son of God!
Girlfriends, let's take a few minutes from our busy day to look to God's Word and let it shine on our hearts and provide nourishment for our souls, as we begin the new week.
Matthew 27:54 "When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed,
“Surely he was the Son of God!”
We might think it amazing that the Roman guards, who had the responsibility of putting Jesus to death, didn't see who he was until they felt the rumble of the earthquake beneath their feet. Didn't they see how Jesus conducted himself during his scourging, hadn't they looked into his face and felt their souls exposed? Wasn't there something that made them think about what they were doing before the earthquake?
Let's not be too quick to judge, sweet friends. How many of us have had to experience our own earthquake(s) in order to see Jesus as the Son of God?
We are, by nature, a skeptical people and "slow to believe all the prophets have said..." Luke 24:25. But when calamity comes, we are brought to the place where we realize that we are not in control and, in that place, we may cry out to Jesus who "surely is the Son of God."
This is not true only as we initially believe but as we continue to believe. We quickly forget or dismiss the thought that we are not in control and resort back to going about trying to save ourselves.
Keep climbing: "Earthquakes" often serve a purpose in giving us the opportunity to see the Savior but let's determine in our hearts to live beyond "earthquake induced faith." May we lean in, during times of quiet blessing or in seasons of pain, and hear the gentle whisper of Jesus, "Come. Follow me."
My List…God’s Design?
Good Morning, Girlfriends! Pull up a chair! Grab a cup of coffee and your list..what list, you ask? You know, YOUR LIST. It's different than mine but we each have a list. My list is long. It is a specific list. A detailed list. It’s the list, unofficially titled, “Cherrie’s plans.” Borne out of the desires of my heart, it is the list of things that I hope to see come to pass, the things I want to accomplish and the things on which I place value, quantified by how I spend my time, energy and focus. For those of you familiar with the Bible, there is an often quoted verse that says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
This is the subject of my thought, today. I want to be certain that my plans, the desires of my heart, which are many, are subject to God’s design. The first part of that familiar verse says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and...." There is an order to this promise. As I delight myself in the Lord, God will give to me the desires of my heart! God is the very Creator of my existence AND the Creator of the new spiritual life I received, when he opened my eyes and, as I believed, granted me new birth. As my Creator, shouldn’t he also have preeminence with regard to my list? Isn’t he truthworthy with the agenda of my days, considering the breath he grants to me?
Let’s talk about numbers. He has numbered my days (Psalm 139:16) and knows the very number of hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30). How then would I think that I am left on my own to decide how I am to spend my days or don’t I realize that, in wisdom, I would do well to seek him, with care, to design my list? Reading through the rest of Psalm 139, it is clear that God is intimately involved and actively participates in our formation from the time of our conception. Let's think of it in a simple word picture. If I designed and formed a certain dish so that it would perfectly hold and showcase a beautifully oval shaped egg and I proceeded to try and serve a 16 oz. ribeye on it, what would the result be? It wouldn't fit! It would hang out all over the place and it certainly wouldn't make an appetizing presentation! Isn't that often what we do? We try to make our own list outside of God's design or according to what someone else thinks we should be and we wonder why we feel exhausted, frustrated and unfulfilled! Remember *God's personal design is the best "style" for me to wear! :)
Isaiah 46:10 makes it clear that God's purpose will be carried out, regardless of my cooperation…BUT I don’t want to miss out! I want to lean in and realize the joy of participating in the purpose he has to reach people with the good news of redemption, specifically those whom he has placed within my sphere of influence.
Today, there is a vast amount of time and attention given to “finding myself” and being “fulfilled.” I would like to suggest that there is no deep secret to be unearthed in this quest. Personal fulfillment comes in walking within God’s design for our lives and pointing others to him. If this is my focus, I will leave a perpetual legacy that continues to be shared, long after I am gone. In contrast, a self-centered, self-focused life leaves nothing of lasting value. It does leave untilled soil in the hearts of those within that circle, which another, must step into and labor for the harvest that has been left unattended, so that they might see and believe.
A familiar corporate term is “knowledge sharing.” Let’s engage in LIFE sharing, girlfriends. Make each of us an instrument of your peace, according to your design, Lord Jesus!
Keep climbing: Take your list….kneel with it and pray, before your Creator, who knows ALL things regarding you. Don’t be afraid – he is your Creator, Redeemer and Friend. Invite him to design, refine and shine in your list, that his purpose might be fulfilled and, in doing so, you will find fulfillment.
Still Climbing,
Friday
Give the Gift of Being Present
Web friends! Grab your cup of java and join me for a quick chat because I have something I want to share with you! I must confess that this little tidbit didn't originate with me but it's just too good to keep to myself... so lean in!
Here's the low-down. If you are like me and find your mind always 2 or 3 steps ahead of what you are doing in the here and now, stop and simply BE PRESENT in what you are doing and with whom you are doing it. This is one very simple, but easily overlooked way that we can begin to live a fuller, more satisfying life, immediately. Don't you love a quick fix? :-)
In our culture, we are expected to have the ability to multi-task, not only as a necessary qualification in order to land and retain a good job, but it is considered a praise-worthy ability. However, in building relationships, the practice of this habit robs us of quality time and produces shallow, unsatisfying experiences.
Remember, as kids, begging Mom or Dad to "Watch me!" or "Play with me!"? and if they weren't really watching or were "multi-tasking" (i.e. talking on the phone, gabbing with the neighbor, etc.)while half-paying attention to the game or whatever we were playing, we would catch on quickly and continue to say, with increased zeal and volume, "Are you WATCHING me? Did you SEE that?!" "It's YOUR turn!!" :-)
I know we're all guilty on this one but we need not despair! As long as there is breath, there is hope! As we become more aware and seek a fuller participation in our moments, and as we begin to really listen, to really watch, and to really be present, we will send a message that says "I value you and you are worth my undivided attention," while making memories that will be recalled with a fonder affection.
Let your voicemail pick up that call while you take time to throw the ball with your son or to color with your graddaughter. Turn off the T.V. and listen as Grandpa tells that story, again. Be interested and even ask a question or two. It will make his day. :-). Take a few moments away from your computer screen to listen to your co-worker's heart as she asks for advice or just lend a listening ear. These, and many more, are the moments that build our lives and write our epitaph, one moment at a time!
One final thought. Making a decision to be present in our moments isn't accomplished in a single determination. It's a daily refreshing that we will find as we frequent our knowing place (see blog titled It's 3:15 AM The Knowing Place) to remember what we truly value in our hearts. May God meet us there and grant us grace that we will have eyes to see and ears to hear the opportunities to make a difference in our moments.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Saturday
But I don't WANT to look like a fitness model!
This is for my girlfriends, who desire a toned, lean, feminine physique, one that favors more of the "celebrity" look, if you will, rather than the ripped, muscular builds on the models that grace the cover of the most popular fitness magazines. I've spent years, literally, with my head buried in fitness articles put out by these popular and trendy fitness experts, utilized a large number of the hot DVD weight lifting programs on the market and done a gazillion squats and lunges using heavy weights as well as pushing out high reps with those same heavy weights to build muscle (but not too much!) and burn fat. I did the same with exercises for my biceps and triceps to avoid having "granny flappers!" :) Have I lost weight and built muscle? Sure! Did I create the body I was really seeking, ultimately? Somewhat but not exactly. While I do have a toned, muscular body and very little fat, I would really prefer a little more of the "Bond girl" look verses the fitness model. Now, I know that is practically cursing in today's fitness industry! I am not promoting anorexia or severely underweight and unattainable bodies. What I have discovered through my own experience, is that even though the industry tells us not to worry, You won't bulk up because "you don't have enough testosterone" in your body as a female, they can't tell that to my biceps or quads! When I practice lifting heavy weights to fatigue with those high reps, my muscles get larger - PERIOD. However, if I cut back the reps to only 5-6 and do them slower with less "pump" and rest in between those sets, my arms are toned but I don't have the Popeye look. If you are looking for the Popeye look, as a woman, keep pounding out those high reps, going as heavy as you can, and reaching failure every time - lift until you cannot lift anymore and you will be pleased with your budding muscles! Disclaimer - of course genetics are involved in this process. There are the slight body types that have a very difficult time building any muscle and may find this principle doesn't seem to apply as readily; always know your body and modify your workouts accordingly! For most of us, if we pump our muscles and do so to failure, consistently, we will gain size in the muscles we are working. If you are not eating a strict, clean diet with a steady calorie deficit, that size will be added to the fat that is already taking up space on your frame and you will see the results. So...my recommnedation is to add HIIT - High Intensity Intervals to your routine 3-4 times per week, such as 15-20 minutes of 1 minute walking at 3.5 and one minute running at 7 (only an example- modify to your fitness level)followed by 10-15 minutes of walking at 3.5-4.2 for example, aiming for a total of 30 minutes. Add some steady state cardio sessions a couple of times into your week(longer power walk or medium paced 5.5 jog as an example) if you actually need to LOSE unwanted muscle, on purpose :) for 45-60 minutes. Otherwise, if you just want to burn fat, use fewer reps (3-5 sets of 5-6 reps) for your upper body and let cardio do your lower body work. Done properly, HIIT (the 15-20 minues 3-4 times per week) followed by steady state cardio (10-15 minutes) can give you the results you want with lean, toned legs and a nice firm bottom! If you feel your backside and legs MUST have added work, add one day per week of leg/butt work. Absolutely no more is necessary unless you want added size in your hips and thighs.
If you have bad knees or ankles and cannot run, find another method such as the elliptical to do HIIT and take some long, brisk walks several times a week. Sometimes we have to get creative!
Check out Rusty Moore's Visual Impact for Women http://visualimpactforwomen.com/ and see if his fitness blog doesn't make sense to you like it has to me! I will continue to report on my summer routine and give updates! I'd love to hear what you are doing, regardless of whether it mirrors mine! Let's be fit4life!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Thursday
Passion - Not Perfection!
Friends!!
I know how busy you are - just grab your cup of coffee and join me for a few brief minutes to unwrap an important message I feel inspired to share with you!
For those who have been reading my blog or have visited my facebook page, ChersFit4Life, you see alot about living with passion! Today, I want to tell you what living with passion is NOT. Living with passion is NOT living with a standard of perfection! Should you find you are continually reaching for perfection, and no doubt being disappointed with the outcome, you will miss out on a truly passionate life! While there are a few commonalities in the definitions of passion and perfection, such as excellence and determination, passion is distinctive in that it energizes with enthusiasm and can produce a happy outcome. It is entirely possible and highly advantageous to live a passionate life...without the burden of the never-attainable, self-imposed, relentless task-master of perfectionism. I know about that of which I am speaking! Try to live a life of perfectionism and see how well you maintain your passion! While passion gives energy, perfectionism invites fatigue! Check your energy level!
My friends, there are many areas where this might show up in your life and mine. I remember one particular Easter. I wanted everything perfect! Don't all good moms feel this way? :) There were the baskets, eggs to color and hunt and all the festivities to make it a perfect day! I made a rabbit cake for the "fun" factor and picked a book to help emphasize the true meaning of Easter. Well....as I was reading the Easter story, the boys became restless and began to agitate each other and then started fussing and laughing over the cake and who was going go get what piece. Before I knew it, my cake was smashed right in the bunny nose BEFORE I got a picture of it! There were 3 pair of eyes looking at me for my reaction and mine began to fill with tears of defeat and disappointment. I can imagine how my boys felt at my distress, due to their mischief. Today, I can see that if I had been living with passion, rather than perfectionism, I could have laughed and preceded on to enjoy the rest of the holiday fun. I'm not saying a scolding of some sort wasn't in order but perspective could have put me in a more gracious state of mind. I could only think about how my special plans had been thwarted! Passion, NOT perfection!
I can offer one more very simple and recent example with a better outcome: CONFESSION! I ate a couple of bites (nice size bites) of chocolate cake AND tiramisu AND cheesecake AND some other 4-layer cake I can't even remember the name of at a lovely dinner hosted by some of our dear friends AND I enjoyed every single bite! :-0 What a glorious night - a "cheat" night - woo-hoo! Make no mistake, after such a night, I am right back on my clean eating plan. I had my egg whites, salad, grilled chicken breast, apple and protein shake mix all prepared for the next day's fare but...it sure was fun! I didn't let one evening of less than a perfect diet de-rail me with disappointment! It's called having a passionate NOT perfectionist approach to being healthy and fit that allows for a deviation from the norm, on occasion (just not too many occasions!) so as to be truly Fit4Life, not just living Life 2 B Fit!
Have a great week and whatever your hand finds to do...I encourage you, choose to do it with passion that energizes rather than suffering the drain of perfectionism!
Still Climbing,
Cher
I know how busy you are - just grab your cup of coffee and join me for a few brief minutes to unwrap an important message I feel inspired to share with you!
For those who have been reading my blog or have visited my facebook page, ChersFit4Life, you see alot about living with passion! Today, I want to tell you what living with passion is NOT. Living with passion is NOT living with a standard of perfection! Should you find you are continually reaching for perfection, and no doubt being disappointed with the outcome, you will miss out on a truly passionate life! While there are a few commonalities in the definitions of passion and perfection, such as excellence and determination, passion is distinctive in that it energizes with enthusiasm and can produce a happy outcome. It is entirely possible and highly advantageous to live a passionate life...without the burden of the never-attainable, self-imposed, relentless task-master of perfectionism. I know about that of which I am speaking! Try to live a life of perfectionism and see how well you maintain your passion! While passion gives energy, perfectionism invites fatigue! Check your energy level!
My friends, there are many areas where this might show up in your life and mine. I remember one particular Easter. I wanted everything perfect! Don't all good moms feel this way? :) There were the baskets, eggs to color and hunt and all the festivities to make it a perfect day! I made a rabbit cake for the "fun" factor and picked a book to help emphasize the true meaning of Easter. Well....as I was reading the Easter story, the boys became restless and began to agitate each other and then started fussing and laughing over the cake and who was going go get what piece. Before I knew it, my cake was smashed right in the bunny nose BEFORE I got a picture of it! There were 3 pair of eyes looking at me for my reaction and mine began to fill with tears of defeat and disappointment. I can imagine how my boys felt at my distress, due to their mischief. Today, I can see that if I had been living with passion, rather than perfectionism, I could have laughed and preceded on to enjoy the rest of the holiday fun. I'm not saying a scolding of some sort wasn't in order but perspective could have put me in a more gracious state of mind. I could only think about how my special plans had been thwarted! Passion, NOT perfection!
I can offer one more very simple and recent example with a better outcome: CONFESSION! I ate a couple of bites (nice size bites) of chocolate cake AND tiramisu AND cheesecake AND some other 4-layer cake I can't even remember the name of at a lovely dinner hosted by some of our dear friends AND I enjoyed every single bite! :-0 What a glorious night - a "cheat" night - woo-hoo! Make no mistake, after such a night, I am right back on my clean eating plan. I had my egg whites, salad, grilled chicken breast, apple and protein shake mix all prepared for the next day's fare but...it sure was fun! I didn't let one evening of less than a perfect diet de-rail me with disappointment! It's called having a passionate NOT perfectionist approach to being healthy and fit that allows for a deviation from the norm, on occasion (just not too many occasions!) so as to be truly Fit4Life, not just living Life 2 B Fit!
Have a great week and whatever your hand finds to do...I encourage you, choose to do it with passion that energizes rather than suffering the drain of perfectionism!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Sunday
Legitimate Needs or Neediness
We all have needs. Our good God created us with them, intending for us to live in community with each other, sharing our lives, and, within that framework, meeting and having our needs met. When we isolate ourselves, expecting one or two people to meet all our needs, we set ourselves up to become needy, thereby repelling the very outcome we desire to realize.
Let's take a look at having legitimate needs met vs. neediness by comparing the terms.
Need - something required or wanted; a necessity
Neediness - an excesssive amount of need often appearing as a clinginess due to ongoing, unmet needs and a narrow approach to having them met
If having needs is legitimate, how can we get them met in a way that doesn't turn to neediness and repell others from wanting to meet them?
First, realizing that God says in his Word, "My God shall supply ALL your needs according to his riches in glory, by Christ Jesus" is vital. We go to God in prayer and tell him our needs, pouring our hearts out before him, knowing he accepts us just as we are and fully understands what we need, better than we even know how to express it! Secondly, we realize that God uses others to meet our needs...but that no ONE person should be expected to meet them ALL and we are expected to do our part to get them met, as well.
I took an emotional index quiz and I highly recommend it for everyone. You can find a variety of them by googling. I took mine through lifecoach.com and my results show that I have 4 top needs. They are as follows:
1. The need to be loved/cherished.
2. The need to be heard.
3. The need for order.
4. The need for peace.
There was a 24 page series of questions I answered that helped define my top needs and I felt it was right on. Let me use myself as an example to give you a picture of someone with legitimate needs and how I have, at times, displayed both seeking to have my needs met and, on occasion, falling into the trap of neediness.
First, these are these very real and legitimate needs that I have. I need to be loved and cherised in a tangible way and, for me, equally as important (I had an = score on the top two), I need to know that I am HEARD. In other words I need communication and to know that what I communicate is valued, recognized and understood. On a slightly lesser level, I also need some order to my life and, in equal proportion, some peace, as they go hand in hand for me.
NOW then, if my circle is very small and I focus my attention on having my husband (name your person of focus....best friend, child, boyfriend) meet all of my needs, of which he is incapable of doing, I am going to be frustrated, disappointed and NEEDY becuase I will repel him and they will NOT be met.
Neediness is inherently repellant, my dear girlfriends. We KNOW this and we would all do well to ponder this for ourselves and see where we are on the subject. Think of a time when you have had someone in your life who was needy, clingy and drained the life from you with their unmet expectations; the vibe they put off with their lack of self-worth and the expectation that you would somehow empart that to them? How did it make you feel towards them? Do the words repel,opposed, rebuff, shy away from, resist come to mind? In other words, the very antithesis of attracting them to you to meet their needs? We've all had those situations, at some time in our lives and have likely been the needy participant, as well.
When this occurs, at first we might feel flattered and even desire to help but, when it becomes a repeated habit and is all about the other person, we begin trying to escape, hide and find ways to avoid these people. With this in mind, let us wake up and realize that if we find ourselves trying to have one person meet all our needs, this is what they are feeling! It is a self defeating act because the more needy we become, the less our needs are met and the more we repel those around us!
How then do we get our legitimate needs met and attract people to us in an attractive way? Let me refer back to my own top 4 needs.
I have a wonderful husband, a dearly loved mother, 3 great children, a host of friends and co-workers and within each of those relationships, I find a give and take in meeting mine and hopefully some of their needs through conversation of varying degrees and interests, gift giving and receiving, hugs and cards. In each encounter a small piece of the whole is met as it should be! I also have this need met through my writing as I express my thoughts.
When it comes to finding order and peace, I have to take responsiblity for creating "order" within my space and asking for help where needed. I need to do this at home, in my car and at work. This is a challenge for me but I'm much more productive and happier when things are in order! I'm pretty messy by nature but I have a NEED for order. That's because I have an attention deficit issue and when everything is misplaced or displaced, it creates a disheveled flavor to my life. I can't find things, run later than usual, and feel generally out of control! If I am feeling frustrated and not sure why, I can often look around me at my physical environment and find my answer! It's me that has to meet my own need! :)
I need some peace and quiet as well. I'm very sociable and don't need a lot but I do need some....every day. My husband is perfectly fine with the TV on in the background or the radio on in the truck at all times and can still focus on whatever he is doing, otherwise. Not so for me! Therfore, I've created "peaceful spaces" for myself out in our gym where I put my writing desk and in our bedroom if I need an escape. Sometimes he senses I am on "overload" and just shuts everything off and says "Let's take a walk." I have had to communicate to him my need for peace or quiet at times but it's up to me to find ways to integrate that into my life and I do.
So...food for thought - we all have needs. Do you find yourself working to have those needs met in a healthy way within your framework of relattionships or do you see yourself in a place of neediness where needs can never be realized? Acknowledging is always the best place to being making a change! I'd love to hear from you and how this is being worked out in your life or how we can pray together for healing in this area!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Let's take a look at having legitimate needs met vs. neediness by comparing the terms.
Need - something required or wanted; a necessity
Neediness - an excesssive amount of need often appearing as a clinginess due to ongoing, unmet needs and a narrow approach to having them met
If having needs is legitimate, how can we get them met in a way that doesn't turn to neediness and repell others from wanting to meet them?
First, realizing that God says in his Word, "My God shall supply ALL your needs according to his riches in glory, by Christ Jesus" is vital. We go to God in prayer and tell him our needs, pouring our hearts out before him, knowing he accepts us just as we are and fully understands what we need, better than we even know how to express it! Secondly, we realize that God uses others to meet our needs...but that no ONE person should be expected to meet them ALL and we are expected to do our part to get them met, as well.
I took an emotional index quiz and I highly recommend it for everyone. You can find a variety of them by googling. I took mine through lifecoach.com and my results show that I have 4 top needs. They are as follows:
1. The need to be loved/cherished.
2. The need to be heard.
3. The need for order.
4. The need for peace.
There was a 24 page series of questions I answered that helped define my top needs and I felt it was right on. Let me use myself as an example to give you a picture of someone with legitimate needs and how I have, at times, displayed both seeking to have my needs met and, on occasion, falling into the trap of neediness.
First, these are these very real and legitimate needs that I have. I need to be loved and cherised in a tangible way and, for me, equally as important (I had an = score on the top two), I need to know that I am HEARD. In other words I need communication and to know that what I communicate is valued, recognized and understood. On a slightly lesser level, I also need some order to my life and, in equal proportion, some peace, as they go hand in hand for me.
NOW then, if my circle is very small and I focus my attention on having my husband (name your person of focus....best friend, child, boyfriend) meet all of my needs, of which he is incapable of doing, I am going to be frustrated, disappointed and NEEDY becuase I will repel him and they will NOT be met.
Neediness is inherently repellant, my dear girlfriends. We KNOW this and we would all do well to ponder this for ourselves and see where we are on the subject. Think of a time when you have had someone in your life who was needy, clingy and drained the life from you with their unmet expectations; the vibe they put off with their lack of self-worth and the expectation that you would somehow empart that to them? How did it make you feel towards them? Do the words repel,opposed, rebuff, shy away from, resist come to mind? In other words, the very antithesis of attracting them to you to meet their needs? We've all had those situations, at some time in our lives and have likely been the needy participant, as well.
When this occurs, at first we might feel flattered and even desire to help but, when it becomes a repeated habit and is all about the other person, we begin trying to escape, hide and find ways to avoid these people. With this in mind, let us wake up and realize that if we find ourselves trying to have one person meet all our needs, this is what they are feeling! It is a self defeating act because the more needy we become, the less our needs are met and the more we repel those around us!
How then do we get our legitimate needs met and attract people to us in an attractive way? Let me refer back to my own top 4 needs.
I have a wonderful husband, a dearly loved mother, 3 great children, a host of friends and co-workers and within each of those relationships, I find a give and take in meeting mine and hopefully some of their needs through conversation of varying degrees and interests, gift giving and receiving, hugs and cards. In each encounter a small piece of the whole is met as it should be! I also have this need met through my writing as I express my thoughts.
When it comes to finding order and peace, I have to take responsiblity for creating "order" within my space and asking for help where needed. I need to do this at home, in my car and at work. This is a challenge for me but I'm much more productive and happier when things are in order! I'm pretty messy by nature but I have a NEED for order. That's because I have an attention deficit issue and when everything is misplaced or displaced, it creates a disheveled flavor to my life. I can't find things, run later than usual, and feel generally out of control! If I am feeling frustrated and not sure why, I can often look around me at my physical environment and find my answer! It's me that has to meet my own need! :)
I need some peace and quiet as well. I'm very sociable and don't need a lot but I do need some....every day. My husband is perfectly fine with the TV on in the background or the radio on in the truck at all times and can still focus on whatever he is doing, otherwise. Not so for me! Therfore, I've created "peaceful spaces" for myself out in our gym where I put my writing desk and in our bedroom if I need an escape. Sometimes he senses I am on "overload" and just shuts everything off and says "Let's take a walk." I have had to communicate to him my need for peace or quiet at times but it's up to me to find ways to integrate that into my life and I do.
So...food for thought - we all have needs. Do you find yourself working to have those needs met in a healthy way within your framework of relattionships or do you see yourself in a place of neediness where needs can never be realized? Acknowledging is always the best place to being making a change! I'd love to hear from you and how this is being worked out in your life or how we can pray together for healing in this area!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Thursday
Who You Are When No One's Looking
In re-reading a favorite book. Bill Hybel's Who You are When No One's Looking, I'm reminded of the value of developing the character traits of courage, discipline, vision endurance, tender love and more...these character qualities are presented in sharp contrast to focusing on building a reputation. As the great former coach, John Wooden put it,"Reputation is what people think you are. Character is what you really are." I'm so impressed by this little read that I've bought it for many others, including my young adult sons. Our world is sorely lacking in character and it's rebuilding begins with one and one and one more until a new generation catches the vision.
I've been allowing that thought to permeate my inmost being in recent weeks and I keep asking God, along with the Psalmist, to "Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me into life everlasting." I also think of the verse that says, "The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Do I know my heart tends to wickedness? And is wickedness only the worst kinds of thoughts such as sexual immorality, murder and hatred? Or... is it that my heart tends to stray from God left to its own devices without the Holy Spirit to "lead me in the way everlasting." It seems to me that the most wicked thing about my heart is that it so easily forgets God and my utter dependence on him for even my very breath. I turn quickly to the "weak and beggarly elements of this world" to satisfy what they never can and lean on my own faulty and limited understanding in my decision making and focus on building a "good reputation." The question I'm asking myself is "What does God think of me?" He knows my every thought and movitve. He knows what I do and who I am when no one else is looking. He sees right through the lies and longs to fill me with his very own Spirit and lead me into all truth where I can be free and at peace! Why do I resist it?
I'm reminded of the choice to exercise and eat a clean diet. If I prefer to be lazy and eat heavy, fattening, processed foods over expending a little energy for an hour or less per day exercising and eating natural foods that are good for my body, skin and overall health, why? What do I gain in the end? Disease, sickness, fatigue, a lesser quality of life? It's the same spiritually. If I choose to skip my time with God each day and to do whatever I feel like doing instead of practicing the godly character traits mentioned above, what do I gain? Foolish woman that I am so often! I think I'm in control, the master of my fate...well, I may be, in part, but at what price? As my husband often says, "How's that working for you?" :)
My dear girlfriends, I write this as one who is weak alongside you and asking for your prayers. Let's get on our knees and ask our good Father, "What is it you would have me do? I know you do all things well! Make me that woman of character, fill me with your Spirit and help me keep in step with your Spirit today and every day! I ask it in faith in the name of Jesus my Savior and Lord. Amen.
Still Climbing,
Cher
I've been allowing that thought to permeate my inmost being in recent weeks and I keep asking God, along with the Psalmist, to "Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me into life everlasting." I also think of the verse that says, "The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Do I know my heart tends to wickedness? And is wickedness only the worst kinds of thoughts such as sexual immorality, murder and hatred? Or... is it that my heart tends to stray from God left to its own devices without the Holy Spirit to "lead me in the way everlasting." It seems to me that the most wicked thing about my heart is that it so easily forgets God and my utter dependence on him for even my very breath. I turn quickly to the "weak and beggarly elements of this world" to satisfy what they never can and lean on my own faulty and limited understanding in my decision making and focus on building a "good reputation." The question I'm asking myself is "What does God think of me?" He knows my every thought and movitve. He knows what I do and who I am when no one else is looking. He sees right through the lies and longs to fill me with his very own Spirit and lead me into all truth where I can be free and at peace! Why do I resist it?
I'm reminded of the choice to exercise and eat a clean diet. If I prefer to be lazy and eat heavy, fattening, processed foods over expending a little energy for an hour or less per day exercising and eating natural foods that are good for my body, skin and overall health, why? What do I gain in the end? Disease, sickness, fatigue, a lesser quality of life? It's the same spiritually. If I choose to skip my time with God each day and to do whatever I feel like doing instead of practicing the godly character traits mentioned above, what do I gain? Foolish woman that I am so often! I think I'm in control, the master of my fate...well, I may be, in part, but at what price? As my husband often says, "How's that working for you?" :)
My dear girlfriends, I write this as one who is weak alongside you and asking for your prayers. Let's get on our knees and ask our good Father, "What is it you would have me do? I know you do all things well! Make me that woman of character, fill me with your Spirit and help me keep in step with your Spirit today and every day! I ask it in faith in the name of Jesus my Savior and Lord. Amen.
Still Climbing,
Cher
Wednesday
Passionate Living With Purpose - it's URGENT!
Girlfriends!! Sometimes I marvel that I am 47.....47! Almost 1/2 a century - whoa!
Girlfriends this is urgent! I realize more each day how little attention I paid to time and purpose when I was younger. It seems urgent to me now to daily recognize that each 24 hour period can never be recovered to be lived over again! What is there to do but live this day, this time, my "right now" with passion and purpose!? It's essential! I am an admitted dreamer and think BIG when it comes to squeezing all I can out of a day and striving to make a difference somewhere along the way and while I struggle with being tired by early evening, due to my 4:30 a.m. start with a fat-blasting work-out and a 70 mile round-trip commute to work, as well as the various stresses of concern for my kids, friends, job responsibilities, etc. that we all carry to one degree or another, I can never apologize for striving to seize the day! It is my passion and privelege to squeeze all I can out of this life I've so graciously been given to return back to my Creator!
What is your passion coming into 2012? More importantly, how are you going to embark upon fulfilling it? Unlike many, I LOVE the opportunity to make New Year's Resolutions! It's simply a lifestyle continuum for me to set goals and measurements to reach them. I don't always manage to do so - I was going to have my book written last year and now it has been moved ahead to this year but I try not to be TOO hard on myself as I got married, worked through a few set-backs, family needs and some big and wonderful changes in my career that took a lot of focus...so onward I go to reach that goal with a little delay on completion time. BUT my point here is that I do set goals and I hope you do, as well. One thing is for sure. If we don't set a goal, we won't reach it!
In living with passion and purpose and thinking of goal setting, ask yourself a few questions. What do I care about? What are my priorities? What relationships need my attention or need to be modified? How is my spiritual life? What kind of physical condition am I in and does it need improvement? As you walk through these questions, you will find your goals coming into view and can begin to work on measurements or ways to reach them. Be sure they are a stretch from where you are now but not out of reach! Be bold and take risks but remember to be reasonable with yourself!
Let me know how it's going. By week's end I will have had 3 lunches this week where I was asked for some encouragement and help with motivation for the new year. This is what I love and am passionate about. It's wonderful to set our goals and even better to bring some others along on the journey! After all, I have had some wonderful mentors go out of their way to help me reach my goals so it's only right to give back!
Have a great week and if you are struggling to find your passion and set your goals, get in a place of prayer and ask God to reveal his start-up plan for you. Believe he has direction - I promise He DOES! He is more than interested in accomplishing his purpose in a willing vessel!
Blessings!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Girlfriends this is urgent! I realize more each day how little attention I paid to time and purpose when I was younger. It seems urgent to me now to daily recognize that each 24 hour period can never be recovered to be lived over again! What is there to do but live this day, this time, my "right now" with passion and purpose!? It's essential! I am an admitted dreamer and think BIG when it comes to squeezing all I can out of a day and striving to make a difference somewhere along the way and while I struggle with being tired by early evening, due to my 4:30 a.m. start with a fat-blasting work-out and a 70 mile round-trip commute to work, as well as the various stresses of concern for my kids, friends, job responsibilities, etc. that we all carry to one degree or another, I can never apologize for striving to seize the day! It is my passion and privelege to squeeze all I can out of this life I've so graciously been given to return back to my Creator!
What is your passion coming into 2012? More importantly, how are you going to embark upon fulfilling it? Unlike many, I LOVE the opportunity to make New Year's Resolutions! It's simply a lifestyle continuum for me to set goals and measurements to reach them. I don't always manage to do so - I was going to have my book written last year and now it has been moved ahead to this year but I try not to be TOO hard on myself as I got married, worked through a few set-backs, family needs and some big and wonderful changes in my career that took a lot of focus...so onward I go to reach that goal with a little delay on completion time. BUT my point here is that I do set goals and I hope you do, as well. One thing is for sure. If we don't set a goal, we won't reach it!
In living with passion and purpose and thinking of goal setting, ask yourself a few questions. What do I care about? What are my priorities? What relationships need my attention or need to be modified? How is my spiritual life? What kind of physical condition am I in and does it need improvement? As you walk through these questions, you will find your goals coming into view and can begin to work on measurements or ways to reach them. Be sure they are a stretch from where you are now but not out of reach! Be bold and take risks but remember to be reasonable with yourself!
Let me know how it's going. By week's end I will have had 3 lunches this week where I was asked for some encouragement and help with motivation for the new year. This is what I love and am passionate about. It's wonderful to set our goals and even better to bring some others along on the journey! After all, I have had some wonderful mentors go out of their way to help me reach my goals so it's only right to give back!
Have a great week and if you are struggling to find your passion and set your goals, get in a place of prayer and ask God to reveal his start-up plan for you. Believe he has direction - I promise He DOES! He is more than interested in accomplishing his purpose in a willing vessel!
Blessings!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Friday
Thanksgiving Lessons in Diversity
Greetings web-friends and Happy post holidays!
I love the holidays and am also glad when it's time to get back into a routine after the excessive food. laziness and shopping! My birthday is January 2 so it's always been the day to go back to school, back to work and it's generally the end of all parties and celebrations! LOL!
Thanksgiving 2011 was an interesting and joyous occasion, as always! Perhaps more diverse than any previous holiday I've experienced in days gone by. With the variety in the crowd that graced our home throughout the day, we enjoyed parents, grandparents, children and children's children, siblings and their families and the special treat of my step-daughter and her family as well as some new friends from work who have recently come to work in the states. There was one couple from Tokyo and another colleague from Russia. We had a group of 30 altogether, kids included and of course food in ridiculous abundance!
Mack had everyone introduce themselves and Dad McBurney had the prayer, after telling a Thanksgiving joke about a little boy and a turkey. :) We visited into the late afternoon and the children all played together very well - there were 8 in all from 2-14 so that in itself was a blessing!
That experience and my work with our HR department has been a valuable tool in teaching me some life lessons, recently, with regard to myself and my newly acquired family.
Let me explain! Just as at work, I encounter "diversity" or differences in working with my colleagues due to various backgrounds, cultural influences and a variety of additional factors, I also find it so in my home! Recognizing and embracing the differences is taught as a must in the workplace but it can be a different matter in the home! When I realize that I have "biases" to work with that determine how I think and what approach I take to various encounters, I have to consider the inclusiveness piece to the puzzle or "embracing our differences!"
When I got married, I was all about this formula. Recognize and embrace the differences, negate our biases and be inclusive to all within our home. My husband's values and ideas merited equal importance to mine! I wanted to be "in the know" on all subjects relating to my new husband and his family, including talks with our kids, knowledge of each others family situations, etc. and it was going to be happy days including close relationships with my step-children and lunches and outings with my sisters in law as added "best friends" to the grand mix I already had in my life. (I had no shortage of girlfriends in my world and was so excited to add luncheons and shopping dates and girl secrets shared....) and as has been common in my life over my 47 years, I was disappointed yet again as the idealist always is when all did not happen exactly as I had envisioned! :-D
I also realized that I stumble on the "embracing the differences" piece in my home! LOL - it's more like "This is how I see it and if you see it that same way, we are good! Otherwise, let me help you correct your erroneous thinking!" :) There were some wonderful times in 2011 and some difficult ones but one thing is clear. I'm learning so much day by day!
One of my goals for 2012 is to practice this diversity/biases/inclusiveness relationship in our home and to lower my expectations of people and situations in which the outcome depends on more than just me! I also want to be kinder to myself. I am a person with many lofty goals and disciplines in my life and when I don't reach the pinnacle of success at the appointed (by me) time, I tend to be hard on myself. I want to walk in grace this year and to do all that I can with what I've been given and in those things I cannot control, they must be relegated to my "God box." I want to take it to him and leave it there for his perfect resolution and timing according to his great purpose!
Happy New Year, girlfriends! Let's make it one full of grace and truth!
I love the holidays and am also glad when it's time to get back into a routine after the excessive food. laziness and shopping! My birthday is January 2 so it's always been the day to go back to school, back to work and it's generally the end of all parties and celebrations! LOL!
Thanksgiving 2011 was an interesting and joyous occasion, as always! Perhaps more diverse than any previous holiday I've experienced in days gone by. With the variety in the crowd that graced our home throughout the day, we enjoyed parents, grandparents, children and children's children, siblings and their families and the special treat of my step-daughter and her family as well as some new friends from work who have recently come to work in the states. There was one couple from Tokyo and another colleague from Russia. We had a group of 30 altogether, kids included and of course food in ridiculous abundance!
Mack had everyone introduce themselves and Dad McBurney had the prayer, after telling a Thanksgiving joke about a little boy and a turkey. :) We visited into the late afternoon and the children all played together very well - there were 8 in all from 2-14 so that in itself was a blessing!
That experience and my work with our HR department has been a valuable tool in teaching me some life lessons, recently, with regard to myself and my newly acquired family.
Let me explain! Just as at work, I encounter "diversity" or differences in working with my colleagues due to various backgrounds, cultural influences and a variety of additional factors, I also find it so in my home! Recognizing and embracing the differences is taught as a must in the workplace but it can be a different matter in the home! When I realize that I have "biases" to work with that determine how I think and what approach I take to various encounters, I have to consider the inclusiveness piece to the puzzle or "embracing our differences!"
When I got married, I was all about this formula. Recognize and embrace the differences, negate our biases and be inclusive to all within our home. My husband's values and ideas merited equal importance to mine! I wanted to be "in the know" on all subjects relating to my new husband and his family, including talks with our kids, knowledge of each others family situations, etc. and it was going to be happy days including close relationships with my step-children and lunches and outings with my sisters in law as added "best friends" to the grand mix I already had in my life. (I had no shortage of girlfriends in my world and was so excited to add luncheons and shopping dates and girl secrets shared....) and as has been common in my life over my 47 years, I was disappointed yet again as the idealist always is when all did not happen exactly as I had envisioned! :-D
I also realized that I stumble on the "embracing the differences" piece in my home! LOL - it's more like "This is how I see it and if you see it that same way, we are good! Otherwise, let me help you correct your erroneous thinking!" :) There were some wonderful times in 2011 and some difficult ones but one thing is clear. I'm learning so much day by day!
One of my goals for 2012 is to practice this diversity/biases/inclusiveness relationship in our home and to lower my expectations of people and situations in which the outcome depends on more than just me! I also want to be kinder to myself. I am a person with many lofty goals and disciplines in my life and when I don't reach the pinnacle of success at the appointed (by me) time, I tend to be hard on myself. I want to walk in grace this year and to do all that I can with what I've been given and in those things I cannot control, they must be relegated to my "God box." I want to take it to him and leave it there for his perfect resolution and timing according to his great purpose!
Happy New Year, girlfriends! Let's make it one full of grace and truth!
Wednesday
Passionate Living With Purpose - it's URGENT!
Girlfriends!! Sometimes I marvel that I am 47.....47! Almost 1/2 a century - whoa! And man do I look good for an old girl! LOL! Cracking myself up!
Girlfriends this is urgent! I realize more each day how little attention I paid to time and purpose when I was younger. It seems urgent to me now to daily recognize that each 24 hour period can never be recovered to be lived over again! What is there to do but live this day, this time, our "right nows" with passion and purpose!? It's essential! I am an admitted dreamer and think BIG when it comes to squeezing all I can out of a day and striving to make a difference somewhere along the way and while I struggle with being tired by early evening, due to my 4:30 a.m. start with a fat-blasting work-out and a 70 mile round-trip commute to work, as well as the various stresses of concern for my kids, friends, job responsibilities, etc. that we all carry to one degree or another, I can never apologize for striving to seize the day! It is my passion and privelege to squeeze all I can out of this life I've so graciously been given to return back to my Creator!
What is your passion coming in to 2012? More importantly, how are you going to embark upon fulfilling it? Unlike many, I LOVE the opportunity to make New Year's Resolutions! It's simply a lifestyle continuum for me to set goals and measurements to reach them. I don't always manage to do so - I was going to have my book written last year and now it has been moved ahead to this year but I try not to be TOO hard on myself as I got married, worked through a few set-backs, family needs and some big and wonderful changes in my career that took a lot of focus...so onward I go to reach that goal with a little delay on completion time. BUT my point here is that I do set goals and I hope you do, as well. One thing is for sure. If we don't set a goal, we won't reach it!
In living with passion and purpose and thinking of goal setting, ask yourself a few questions. What do I care about? What are my priorities? What relationships need my attention or need to be modified? How is my spiritual life? What kind of physical condition am I in and does it need improvement? As you walk through these questions, you will find your goals coming into view and can begin to work on measurements or ways to reach them. Be sure they are a stretch from where you are now but not out of reach! Be bold, take risks, be reasonable with yourself!
Let me know how it's going. By week's end I will have had 3 lunches this week where I was asked for some encouragement and help with motivation for the new year. This is what I love and am passionate about. It's wonderful to set our goals and even better to bring some others along on the journey!
Have a great week and if you are struggling to find your passion and set your goals, get in a place of prayer and ask God to reveal his start-up plan for you. Believe he has direction - I promise He DOES! He is more than interested in accomplishing his purpose in a willing vessel!
Blessings!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Girlfriends this is urgent! I realize more each day how little attention I paid to time and purpose when I was younger. It seems urgent to me now to daily recognize that each 24 hour period can never be recovered to be lived over again! What is there to do but live this day, this time, our "right nows" with passion and purpose!? It's essential! I am an admitted dreamer and think BIG when it comes to squeezing all I can out of a day and striving to make a difference somewhere along the way and while I struggle with being tired by early evening, due to my 4:30 a.m. start with a fat-blasting work-out and a 70 mile round-trip commute to work, as well as the various stresses of concern for my kids, friends, job responsibilities, etc. that we all carry to one degree or another, I can never apologize for striving to seize the day! It is my passion and privelege to squeeze all I can out of this life I've so graciously been given to return back to my Creator!
What is your passion coming in to 2012? More importantly, how are you going to embark upon fulfilling it? Unlike many, I LOVE the opportunity to make New Year's Resolutions! It's simply a lifestyle continuum for me to set goals and measurements to reach them. I don't always manage to do so - I was going to have my book written last year and now it has been moved ahead to this year but I try not to be TOO hard on myself as I got married, worked through a few set-backs, family needs and some big and wonderful changes in my career that took a lot of focus...so onward I go to reach that goal with a little delay on completion time. BUT my point here is that I do set goals and I hope you do, as well. One thing is for sure. If we don't set a goal, we won't reach it!
In living with passion and purpose and thinking of goal setting, ask yourself a few questions. What do I care about? What are my priorities? What relationships need my attention or need to be modified? How is my spiritual life? What kind of physical condition am I in and does it need improvement? As you walk through these questions, you will find your goals coming into view and can begin to work on measurements or ways to reach them. Be sure they are a stretch from where you are now but not out of reach! Be bold, take risks, be reasonable with yourself!
Let me know how it's going. By week's end I will have had 3 lunches this week where I was asked for some encouragement and help with motivation for the new year. This is what I love and am passionate about. It's wonderful to set our goals and even better to bring some others along on the journey!
Have a great week and if you are struggling to find your passion and set your goals, get in a place of prayer and ask God to reveal his start-up plan for you. Believe he has direction - I promise He DOES! He is more than interested in accomplishing his purpose in a willing vessel!
Blessings!
Still Climbing,
Cher
Saturday
Exodus from an Amish flavored lifestyle - Part II
...As I went that evening to Outback Steakhouse for some dinner, I sat near but not in the bar area. I had a notepad and pen and was writing down thoughts, pros/cons, questions and answers all related to my decision of whether or not to leave the church. I ordered a steak and just sat observing people and trying to understand how this would feel to be part of "regular society" again. I watched a couple at the bar, in particular, as they were sharing wine, talking and laughing. I noticed as the evening wore on and after several more drinks, the couple wasn't so fun to watch anymore as they were both more than tipsy. You know how it is when you are not drinking and you are with people who have had too much? :) I knew as I watched that scene that, although I was leaning into the decision to leave the church, I was not drawn to that lifestyle. I wanted to continue to walk with God and to live a "clean" life, as I was accustomed to doing, but with the freedom to do so independently of a strictly planned lifestyle that offered little opportunity for variation or the individual expression of talents and choices.
I finished my dinner and went back to the hotel with mixed emotions and thoughts. There is much to be written about this time in my life as you can imagine in making such a huge transition...relationships were affected, huge adjustments were and still are experienced, the lasting scars from the wounds of being expelled and considered a lost soul who has turned their back on "the truth" and the process of healing over time, with God's grace and the loving support of family and friends...I will further expand in my book but for my blogging with humor purpose here, I will move to the time of my actual departure from the church.
Back home, once my decision was made, I faxed a letter to the 4 ministers and 2 deacons describing my intention. As a point of interest, that is the communication Mennonites most often utilize en mass since they normally don't have computers in the home and, if they do, they likely don't have the ineternet unless strictly for business purposes and then it is heavily filtered against unwholesome content access.
I told my boss and co-workers at the fish plant that I would be leaving my position as Health & Safety Coordinator and front office girl as I knew I could not work there being expelled which would come soon enough. I had been offered a job by the attorney who had handled my divorce. BTW, I did not file for divorce as that constitutes a law-suit and is forbidden by the Mennonite church so my husband filed and I simply responded. I left the 18 year marriage with nothing but some furniture, 1/2 of the proceeds of the sale of our house and 1/2 of our debt, which took care of the small amount of money I received.
I walked into the attorney's office to talk with my lawyer and formally accept the job offer and the young woman at the front didn't even recognize me. She is now one of my dearest friends and helped create both my blog and website! I had been in the office a number of times during the divorce process and had taken cookies, a plant and a thank you for all the assistance in getting through it while I was still a member of the church. I told her who I was and she was like, "What?! Wow!" She proceeded to the back telling everyone that I was there and he wasn't going to believe it! lol He and I had discussed my decision so he was expecting me. When she took me into his office, he said, "Come in here my little Mennonite girl." Everyone in the office gasped when I walked in the door in a suit and decidedly non-Mennonite. It carries some humor, as I recollect but was a very stressful time for me. It's good I can recall it with a smile some 9 years later and many similar incidents where people in town recognized me. Running into my Mennonite friends was a different experience as they would look at me and cry and ask me to come back to the Lord and the church...they didn't believe I could be a Christian outside the church.
The judge in town and his wife, from whom I rented my house in the country, took me under their wing and "re-introduced" me in town. I began my new job and a little later, when I discovered the 2005 Mustang had come out and was retro designed to be very similar to the old 1960's series, of which I had learned to drive with my dad on a '69 Mach I with a stick, I decided I must have one. My dad had recently passed away, suddenly, and I missed him, terribly! I had been driving "plain" vehicles with (white, silver, black - or other non-attention drawing colors for Mennonites) for some time and was ready to have a little flash and splash in my life again! I bought a white mustang and, while I was at the dealership, noticed a Shelby on the front of a Car & Driver magazine there that was red with white racing stripes.....I decided, with little thought as to how FLASHY it would truly be, to have red racing stripes put on it. When it came back a few days later for me to pick up, I was shocked as I realized what a statement it was and that there would be no going incognito in it! I lived in a town of 5,000 people and was pretty well recognized by everyone, before, as the girl who had come to the Mennonite world, was on the front page of the Religion section in the Little Rock Democrat Gazette and worked at the fish plant and now as "that little ex-Mennonite girl" so this was a pretty bold move, even though I really didn't see it that way at the time. I can only imagine how my dear Mennonite friends thought I had lost it and I do mean lost it as in my salvation. I don't say this lightly to be coy, just to give you a picture of the situation and, as I've said, see a little humor in a very tough place in my life. But I felt free to actually be authentically ME again. Since I was a toddler, my mom will tell you, I loved glitter, glamour and bright colors~ and now I loved "my pony!" I really enjoyed that car until I wrecked it 2 years ago on my way to work one morning. It has a special place in my heart as it represented thoughts of my dad, my childhood, the expression of who I am and the early days of my integration back into the societal norm.
To see a picture of me and my stang, check out my FB photos. I now drive an Infinity but it still has a sports package on it.:)
Hope you are finding humor in some of your past dark places. The Bible says, "Laughter does good like a medicine" and I've found that to be very true.
Everyone have an awesome Labor Day weekend and remember to have a positive effect on someone in your world, today, with a smile, a hug and some encouragement that there is grace, hope and help in the tender mercies of our heavenly Father.
Still Climbing,
Cher
I finished my dinner and went back to the hotel with mixed emotions and thoughts. There is much to be written about this time in my life as you can imagine in making such a huge transition...relationships were affected, huge adjustments were and still are experienced, the lasting scars from the wounds of being expelled and considered a lost soul who has turned their back on "the truth" and the process of healing over time, with God's grace and the loving support of family and friends...I will further expand in my book but for my blogging with humor purpose here, I will move to the time of my actual departure from the church.
Back home, once my decision was made, I faxed a letter to the 4 ministers and 2 deacons describing my intention. As a point of interest, that is the communication Mennonites most often utilize en mass since they normally don't have computers in the home and, if they do, they likely don't have the ineternet unless strictly for business purposes and then it is heavily filtered against unwholesome content access.
I told my boss and co-workers at the fish plant that I would be leaving my position as Health & Safety Coordinator and front office girl as I knew I could not work there being expelled which would come soon enough. I had been offered a job by the attorney who had handled my divorce. BTW, I did not file for divorce as that constitutes a law-suit and is forbidden by the Mennonite church so my husband filed and I simply responded. I left the 18 year marriage with nothing but some furniture, 1/2 of the proceeds of the sale of our house and 1/2 of our debt, which took care of the small amount of money I received.
I walked into the attorney's office to talk with my lawyer and formally accept the job offer and the young woman at the front didn't even recognize me. She is now one of my dearest friends and helped create both my blog and website! I had been in the office a number of times during the divorce process and had taken cookies, a plant and a thank you for all the assistance in getting through it while I was still a member of the church. I told her who I was and she was like, "What?! Wow!" She proceeded to the back telling everyone that I was there and he wasn't going to believe it! lol He and I had discussed my decision so he was expecting me. When she took me into his office, he said, "Come in here my little Mennonite girl." Everyone in the office gasped when I walked in the door in a suit and decidedly non-Mennonite. It carries some humor, as I recollect but was a very stressful time for me. It's good I can recall it with a smile some 9 years later and many similar incidents where people in town recognized me. Running into my Mennonite friends was a different experience as they would look at me and cry and ask me to come back to the Lord and the church...they didn't believe I could be a Christian outside the church.
The judge in town and his wife, from whom I rented my house in the country, took me under their wing and "re-introduced" me in town. I began my new job and a little later, when I discovered the 2005 Mustang had come out and was retro designed to be very similar to the old 1960's series, of which I had learned to drive with my dad on a '69 Mach I with a stick, I decided I must have one. My dad had recently passed away, suddenly, and I missed him, terribly! I had been driving "plain" vehicles with (white, silver, black - or other non-attention drawing colors for Mennonites) for some time and was ready to have a little flash and splash in my life again! I bought a white mustang and, while I was at the dealership, noticed a Shelby on the front of a Car & Driver magazine there that was red with white racing stripes.....I decided, with little thought as to how FLASHY it would truly be, to have red racing stripes put on it. When it came back a few days later for me to pick up, I was shocked as I realized what a statement it was and that there would be no going incognito in it! I lived in a town of 5,000 people and was pretty well recognized by everyone, before, as the girl who had come to the Mennonite world, was on the front page of the Religion section in the Little Rock Democrat Gazette and worked at the fish plant and now as "that little ex-Mennonite girl" so this was a pretty bold move, even though I really didn't see it that way at the time. I can only imagine how my dear Mennonite friends thought I had lost it and I do mean lost it as in my salvation. I don't say this lightly to be coy, just to give you a picture of the situation and, as I've said, see a little humor in a very tough place in my life. But I felt free to actually be authentically ME again. Since I was a toddler, my mom will tell you, I loved glitter, glamour and bright colors~ and now I loved "my pony!" I really enjoyed that car until I wrecked it 2 years ago on my way to work one morning. It has a special place in my heart as it represented thoughts of my dad, my childhood, the expression of who I am and the early days of my integration back into the societal norm.
To see a picture of me and my stang, check out my FB photos. I now drive an Infinity but it still has a sports package on it.:)
Hope you are finding humor in some of your past dark places. The Bible says, "Laughter does good like a medicine" and I've found that to be very true.
Everyone have an awesome Labor Day weekend and remember to have a positive effect on someone in your world, today, with a smile, a hug and some encouragement that there is grace, hope and help in the tender mercies of our heavenly Father.
Still Climbing,
Cher
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